real encouragement for real homeschool moms


I had noticed them on other Sundays, sitting toward the back: attentive husband, impeccably dressed wife, both calmly waiting for the service to begin while everyone around them hurried to take their seats once the music began. But it wasn’t until this past week that I realized why they were special. Seated in my row, I could hear the wife struggling to breath and caught a glimpse of the man as he pulled a fresh clean washcloth from a bag and gently wiped her face. Suffering from some residual affects of an illness or accident, she had come to worship, raising her hands and singing as the man lovingly placed his arm around her, supporting and encouraging his bride. My heart was instantly touched by the tenderness they shared and I felt the tears coming. “This,” I thought, “is a faithful man.”

My guess is that he has never heard of Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips, Doug Wilson or the Bayly brothers. To him, a patriarch is named Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob.

During the 27 or so years that we have experienced the patriarchy movement, some of them up close and painfully personal, a picture was painted for us of what genuine godly manhood must be. I remember Clay’s face when he came home from his maiden voyage into patriarchy waters. The seminar was called Beards, Babies, and Bowel Movements, the latter two highly recommended and the former only allowed for Amish attendees. (You can’t make this stuff up.) Being the prophet, priest, and king of the home is a tough job but somebody has to do it. And someone has to charge you for the privilege of knowing how to do it.  Here is the checklist….for free:

The father is the only one who should teach older sons; he should not be employed but rather be or working toward becoming an entrepreneur so as not to build another man’s kingdom. He will give his sons land and remind them that they are part of his clan.

Though his wife might be knowledgeable of Scripture, he alone is to lead family Bible study and all spiritual or doctrinal questions are to be asked only of him. (I kind of liked this one on days when someone asked me things like “what IS a concubine” or “what’s with all those foreskins?”)

He is to direct all the education of children and prepare sons for the day when they will lead families of their own by helping them establish their own businesses. He trains his daughter for the day when she will be handed over to another man by making sure she is his junior “helpmeet” and understands that she has only one role and that is to fulfill her man’s calling from God. He orchestrates her courtship and betrothal, guaranteeing her physical and emotional purity in the process. He must be certain that his children are not rebellious because rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and the only way to avoid it is by the frequent and daily use of the rod.

He protects his wife from “false” teachings by limiting what she can read or hear or who she can have for friends because she is more easily deceived by Satan and might unwittingly wander into a website like Titus Two  He oversees the childbirth process, from start to finish, recognizing that his wife might die because “Biblical” principles might dictate such. His household must be in order, children all lined up, happy, and spit-shined when he comes home from work and his wife, possibly in pearls, available for hospitality, educating younger children, and sex whenever he demands it.

His home, rust-free 14 passenger van, and all household goods are paid for with cash. Any personal interests, recreation, and hobbies, especially video games, are the devil’s tools because idle hands are the devil’s play place and a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands (even for a Sunday afternoon nap because Sunday afternoons are for fellowship with other manly men at your FIC) will bring his family to poverty.

To make sure he remembers all of these things, a man will attend seminars, conferences (some of them requiring costumes and tights), and weekly men’s meetings where he will ponder over R. C. Sproul Jr. basement tapes or will read Rushdooney and devise ways to fulfill some other man’s 200 Year Plan. He will listen to Kevin Swanson radio while cleaning his gun and grow a beard, Bill Gothard not withstanding.

But now, even after all this, one of the most repeated mantras I am hearing in response to Doug Phillips’ resignation is this: “Judge not lest ye shall be judged…any of us could fall the same way at any time. If it happened to Doug Phillips, it can happen to any man.”

There is even more fear and pressure to perform when in reality I think most men, yes, most men, are faithful men!

Sure, they have temptations and struggle from time to time, probably mostly when their wives continually talk about modesty and point out all the things that aren’t modest.  And we all know the reason men become uncontrollable, sex crazed monsters is because of immodestly dressed women because passionate, patriarchal wives have told us so.

But I do not for a minute believe all men are on the brink of having an emotional or sexual relationship with other women.

And here is why. Because real men anticipate the dangers and if they entertain thoughts of adultery don’t teach seminars and carry on about the evils of homosexuality while thinking nothing of engaging in a long term romantic relationship with a another woman. Because they love their wives and children and sacrifice everything for them in real life ways without pretending they are on the Titanic. Because they purpose to walk with the Lord and seek to live lives of balance in the real world, putting real measures of accountability into place, first of all with their own wives. Because they are busy just trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage, find affordable health care, and put braces on their kids’ crooked teeth. Because they have wives who are true partners, sojourners beside them in spiritual battle, and their sisters in Christ who openly share their opinions and stretch marks one day at a time.

I have long been concerned that patriarchy’s model for godly manhood has become a poor substitute for real men who know that being faithful in the small things is the measure God uses for greatness. I hope and pray this is a wake-up call for those men still entrapped in this movement and their wives who are enabling if not promoting this madness.


25 Responses to Thinking thoughtfully about Doug Phillips’ resignation, part three ~ not every man

  • thatmom says:

    For the record, though I am sad I have to state this, I do believe that marriage is only for one man and one woman and that practicing homosexual behavior is a sin.

  • Kathy says:

    Agreed, Karen. That’s what I was thinking of. An awful lot of kind, decent hard-working men — for instance my own husband, my own father, my own brother, my own son, do not stumble like this and would not. I mean, I’m sure they’ve experienced an attraction to another woman but to move from “I feel attracted” to action is a choice they do not make, and would not make. And I think humility and being busy serving their families is one reason.

    I know I’m probably deep in “confirmation bias” with this observation, but it seems that the more loudly someone proclaims patriarchy or that their marriage is built on a model of wifely submission, the more likely there are serious issues in that marriage (whether abuse, or addiction, or faithlessness), which all the rules in the world will not suppress forever.

  • Kathi says:

    Real men are not on the brink of having an affair because they view women as human beings; as a person who breathes, feels, bleeds, and lives. Real men don’t have a view of women as sexual objects. Since real men view women as a human being, they are able to establish friendships with them and work beside them.

  • Nellie says:

    One male issue I ponder concerning these man-made systems is men and the financial support of their families.

    Because of all the “rules” there is yet another layer of hypocrisy I see in all this beyond the obvious moral failure.

    Phillips and his like tell men and their families they must “trust God” in having as many babies as physically possible. This results in children born in some tough circumstances. What if Dad has been unemployed for a long time? What if the family is on food stamps and really struggling? What if there is disability and the day to day with just two kids is very hard? According to Phillips, you don’t think about things and continue to march on with militant fecundity.

    Many of us use circumstances to help guide our decisions on what the Lord would have us to do. I had one person sensibly tell me that when my resources are tapped, I will take that as a divine sign that my “quiver is full”. Such is not the case with the patriocentrists.

    The hypocrisy I’m seeing is that we are told that this has been a heart felt, deep repentance but yet, if it is, why is Doug retaining leadership in the business aspect of Vision Forum? If people in patriarchy are to take such risks financially with families and add children in dire straights and “trust the Lord” why doesn’t Doug resign and “trust the Lord” with how to support his family?

    I realize one could argue that he may not be required to resign from his business dealings, but I think this is a grey area that teeters toward “black” given that this is a faith based business that is definitely selling a lifestyle and way of life. If one wanted to handle this completely above reproach, then why no step down from the business too? If the families he has presched at for years can make it on nothing, why isn’t that good enough for Doug?

    I have no desire to see the man and his family suffer financially. However, he chose a public life making some very hardline stances on the way people ought to do things. The business part of the ministry is hard to separate from these teachings. Again, this is an issue of what’s good for others apparently is not good for him.

  • Okay, Karen, don’t tar and feather me!

    Re: the Basement Tapes…We had a bunch of them and I have to say I really did like the format. There were a few (titles escape me now) that we enjoyed. It’s too bad someone doesn’t do something like that again, but without all the baggage and boulders. I enjoyed listening to them discussing different topics in a relaxed way.There was quite a bit of dry humor as well which David and I both enjoy.

    (Running for cover…)

  • Don says:

    Real men are comfortable enough with their masculinity that they feel in no way obligated to advertise it or prop it up with unbecoming behavior …

  • Mike says:

    Doug’s sin is out there for everyone to see. I’m glad mine isn’t. As Christians, do we really ever reach a level here on earth where we are without sin? Sin is terrible, with terrible effects, don’t get me wrong. And it is sad when people who teach fall from the pedestals that they’re on. What is the take-away?

  • Bye says:

    “For the record, though I am sad I have to state this, I do believe that marriage is only for one man and one woman and that practicing homosexual behavior is a sin.”

    That’s disappointing. Deleting my bookmark to this site. I thought you believed in equality and fairness. But I guess that’s just for heterosexuals.

    You write that it’s wrong for men to oppress and control women’s sexuality, lives and legal affairs. But it’s okay for heterosexuals to oppress and control gay people’s sexuality, lives and legal affairs? A man shouldn’t be able to control who his daughter marries– but any heterosexual Christian should be able to control who any homosexual person marries?

    You want equality for women, since that will get YOU a seat at the table, but apparently other people left out in the cold can stay there.

  • thatmom says:

    Hannah, I remember when that Challies piece was first published and any number of people, including a few wives of patriocentricity jumped on it to prove that someone like me is wrong to question teachers publicly. It appears to be happening again this week but here is what troubles me. Who decides which person or group gets to be the ones who question teachings or teachers? The arrogance boggles the mind.

  • thatmom says:

    Mike, here is what I hope to be the take away from my blog:

    Homeschooling families MUST become Bereans and recognize false teachers beginning with the patriarchy/patriocentricity movement. They need to pay attention to the core beliefs that prop it up. This isn’t about one man and his personal sin. It is about a movement that has had tremendous influence on evangelicalism in general and homeschoolers in particular and people need to understand exactly what that means at the core.

  • TulipGirl says:

    I can’t help but think of Matthew 11:28-30:

    “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

  • Angie Wright says:

    I almost spit coffee at my screen at the dangers of the P31Lesbo website. Ha! That’s funny. I have friends who are no allowed to do womens meetings, homeschool support meetings, read books, attend church with others, etc, for fear that they would be led astray. Huh? How far is a woman going to be led astray at a Starbucks talking about laundry with tired homeschool moms? But now I know. Thanks. ;)

  • thatmom says:

    Sadly, Angie that came off the 2009 Homeschool Leadership Summit presentation by Doug Phillips. He actually used the word lesbian to describe women bloggers who disagree with patriarchy! Truth is stranger than fiction!

  • Jessica Farrish says:

    Karen, I wish I had “known” you in 2007, when I first encountered these teachings. Great work at unravelling all of the confusing and stupid things that come out of this movement under the guise of “the Bible.” Thank you.

  • Lori Johnson says:

    Mike asks “What is the take away?” An excellent question. I’m not a homeschooling Mom, and I wouldn’t even call myself a Christian, though I do live by the law of Moses and follow the Messiah as my example. Given that, what I see as the take away is that someone with as much intelligence as Mr. Phillips should spend a season laying everything on the table, every last bit of what he believes, and examine it afresh. He believes some things that are not demonstrated truths as they appear in either Hebrew or Greek. It is a dangerous edifice, the one built on translation. So, as His mercies are made new every morning, and because great is His faithfulness, it should not be a frightening thing to a man’s soul to admit that he is fundamentally and woefully wrong, and to seek to build on solid ground. That would be a good “take away.”

  • julie says:

    “Real men”? Ladies, please read your bibles. Yes real men could stumble. Even today. You are naïve, extremely naïve if you think that it could not happen. The scriptures clearly tell us otherwise. See for example, 2 Samuel 11; Matthew 5:28; 2 Peter 2:14; Galatians 5:19
    someone wrote:
    “Real men are not on the brink of having an affair because they view women as human beings; as a person who breathes, feels, bleeds, and lives. Real men don’t have a view of women as sexual objects. Since real men view women as a human being, they are able to establish friendships with them and work beside them.”

    I think you must mean “men in heaven”, rather than “real men”? Because the picture you have painted has come from a romantic book or movie and not by truth. You have listened to and believed lies. Real men can and do lust. And real men do act on that lust when given opportunity. Do not be naïve but be sober and believe your bible, not the romance novels. Men are men. They do not think like women and they do not act like women. We women mistakenly think that men think like we do. They do not. A woman dresses fashionably (in this day that means she reveals flesh) and if a man looks at her, she thinks he is admiring her fashion sense. I can assure you that is not what he is thinking! Women have their own particular set of sins and temptations and so do men. Women naively think that men think like they do. They do not, I repeat, they do not think like we do. They are not caricatures, but real flesh and blood human beings with sins, faults, failures and weaknesses. BTW, a man believe a woman thinks like he does. So when he sees a woman dressed in a revealing manner he thinks she is out to seduce men. And he is all too willing. Do not be naïve, ladies!

  • Lisa says:

    Reading this and astonished anew (if that’s even possible with all I’ve read) that people thought any of this was for “good.” Particularly the role of the father and the “junior helpmeet.” Creepy term, creepy idea.

  • Colleen G says:

    Honestly my first thought, and the take away lesson here, is that is what you get when you base your walk with God on the outward flesh and not the inward relationship with the Holy Spirit.
    Sorry to the other commenter- Real men can be around less than modest women without jumping into an affair. Why? Because real men are not slaves to their raging animal instincts. Can a real man still fall? Yes but not completely because of the women in his environment but because of his own issues. Immodestly dressed women are not the sole cause of sexual sins. It takes two people to go down that path.

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"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73: 25-26
more truth from the Word
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:32
William Carey says:
"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
Tim Keller says:
"God’s love and forgiveness can pardon and restore any and every kind of sin or wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter if you’ve deliberately oppressed or even murdered people, or how much you’ve abused yourself… There is no evil that the Father’s love cannot pardon and cover, there is no sin that is a match for his grace." ~ Tim Keller
Tim Keller also says:
“The Christian gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.” ! Tim Keller in The Reason for God.
Oswald Chambers says:
"If we simply preach the effects of redemption in the human life instead of the revealed, divine truth regarding Jesus Himself, the result is not new birth in those who listen. The result is a refined religious lifestyle, and the Spirit of God cannot witness to it because such preaching is in a realm other than His." ~ Oswald Chambers
Phillip E. Johnson says:
“When pressed in interviews to name my heroes, I have spontaneously responded that they are homeschooling mothers! To me, the heroic mothers who nurture the next generation of faithful Christians are among the leaders of the church.” ~ Phillip E. Johnson
John Stonestreet says:
“C.S. Lewis said that for every new book we read, we ought to read three old ones. But I think for every latest, greatest new homeschooling book you read, go find three old homeschooling moms and ask them what happened and what worked.” ~ John Stonestreet
Carolyn Custis James says:
“The power of our theology comes alive when we take the truth personally. Holding God at arm’s length—no matter how much theology we think we know—will never make us great theologians. We have to learn to write our own names into the plot. God will always be the subject of our theological sentences but our sentences are incomplete until we make ourselves the direct objects of his attributes…..Simply knowing a lot of theological ideas, no matter how orthodox and sound they are, will never turn us into great theologians. Theology isn’t really theology for us until we live it. Not until we learn to make explicit connections between what we know about God and the race we are running will we taste the transforming power of our theology. Fixing our eyes on Jesus means reminding ourselves of all that He is to us now. He brings meaning to our routines and energizes us to tackle the difficult tasks at hand. Fixing our eyes on Jesus gives us hope to offer disheartened husbands and hurting friends, and the wisdom we need to raise children who will fix their eyes on Him, too.” ~ from Carolyn Custis James in When Life and Beliefs Collide
Anne Ortlund says:
“So what do we do to encourage them to grow inwardly, to become resourceful and creative, to think, to meditate, to lay the foundation for growing up well? Don’t push, but affirm them! Give them the sense that all is well, that their rate of progress is acceptable to you, that you like them just the way they are…..Guide them but be delighted in them. Let them know that life is to be reached for and drunk of deeply…..Enthusiastic, that’s how you want them to grow up! The word comes from “en Theo,” or “in God.” Support them with words of faith, hope, and love, and in that framework “in God,” they’ll be ready to tackle everything. Fears and cautions are built in at an early age but so is courage! Tomorrow’s world will be different if your child has been released to experiment, to risk, to lead others, to pursue righteousness, to be an affecter for good in society, to go courageously after God.” ~ Anne Ortlund in Children Are Wet Cement
J.C Ryle says:
"Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart." ~ J. C. Ryle in The Upper Room
Clay Clarkson says:
“Many Christian parents, myself included, tend to speak to children as though they were Pharisees. We can speak harshly and with judgment, implying by our manner that their hearts are hard and resistant. But this attitude is not justified by Scripture. There is no record of Jesus ever speaking to a a child in a harsh tone. When the Gospels record Him speaking to a child, it is always with gentleness. Our children are not our adversaries. Though our children’s hearts are corrupted by sin, they are not hardened sinners who have made conscious choices to reject the Savior. Our children are simply immature and childish. That’s why children need love and compassion, not harshness and guilt.” ~ Clay Clarkson in Heartfelt Discipline
Tim Kimmel says:
“Grace can’t be some abstract concept that you talk about in your home. It has to be a real-time action that ultimately imprints itself in your children’s hearts. To talk about grace, sing about grace, and have our children memorize verses about grace – but not give them specific gifts of grace – is to undermine God’s words of grace in their hearts. Grace means that God not only loves them but that He loves them uniquely and specially. The primary way to give our children grace is to offer it in place of our selfish preferences.” ~ Tim Kimmel in Grace-Based Parenting
Chuck Swindoll says:
"You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here's how - guaranteed! Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your spirituality. Train your children to do the same. Embrace a long list of do's and don'ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately...yet never own up to the fact that its hypocrisy. Act one way but live another. And you can count on it - emotional and spiritual damage will occur. "
Kathy Thile says:
"I say this gently, as the parent of grown kids, knowing *insert parenting guru* is also the parent of grown kids: we have wonderful children — he does, I’m sure — and so do I. But without even knowing his children I can know this about them: they are not perfect. They hurt. They make mistakes. They struggle. They are prideful and overly simplistic at times; and crippled by shame and hesitancy at others. Yes — they are beautiful examples of human beings, his children (I assume), and mine (I know.) But they are not perfect. If they were, they would not be human. If it were possible to raise children to perfection, then God would have sent a parenting method, not Jesus. Our marching orders are not to raise our children by a method to be like *insert parenting guru* children. Our marching orders are to be Christians to and with our children." ~ Kathy Thile
Anna Quindlen says:
“The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less." ~ Anna Quindlen
Winston Churchill says:
“My education was interrupted only by my schooling." ~ Winston Churchill
John Taylor Gatto says:
"The shocking possibility that dumb people don’t exist in sufficient numbers to warrant the millions of careers devoted to tending them will seem incredible to you. Yet that is my central proposition: the mass dumbness which justifies official schooling first had to be dreamed of; it isn’t real." ~ John Taylor Gatto
Fred Rogers say:
“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” ~ Fred Rogers
thatmom says
"The truth is that the way a marriage becomes truly heavenly is for each husband and each wife to pursue, really pursue, a relationship with Jesus Christ, to commit to obey the Word of God, to set aside each of their own agendas and paradigms, and then as they walk in the Holy Spirit, as they are sanctified, a little at a time each day, they will grow closer to one another. Godly wisdom will manifest itself in purity, peace, gentleness, mercy, a willingness to submit to one another, the fruits of the spirit, and no role-playing (the true meaning of hypocrisy). (James 3:17)" ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"We need to approach our children not as character projects, but rather, we must see them with hearts of sympathy, with compassion and understanding, and with ears that listen. You see, homeschooling is not about lesson plans and research papers and standardized tests. Homeschooling is about building a relationship with our children, friendships that will last our entire lives on earth and clear into eternity. Homeschooling is merely the tool whereby we build those relationships." ~ thatmom
thatmom knows:
As a homeschooling mom, I have realized that everything, ultimately, is outside of my own control. I have learned that the unique circumstances that happen in my family have occurred because God’s plan is so much bigger than my own. It is knowing this truth about God and in experiencing that truth with those in my home that has enabled us to face past challenges and that will prepare us for all those difficulties that still lie before us.
thatmom realizes:
If I think about 37 years of marriage, times the number of loads of laundry I have done for 2 parents, 6 children and 1 grandma, I am amazed to know that I have washed, dried, folded, (sometimes ironed) and put away roughly 27,526 loads of laundry. That is over 215,000 socks! Or, in that same amount of time, provided 38,324 meals for a family and sometimes guests. Or that I have overseen nearly 21,500 hours of education of one sort or another during that time. Just thinking of these numbers takes my breath away. ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"Real books from the library, a tub of art supplies, being read stories rich in vocabulary, a variety of good music, the daily discussion of God’s Word and how it relates to the world around him, and the attention of a loving parent who includes him in all the activities of real life are the secrets to a great learning experience for children." ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"Being a mom is sort of like being all the people who crowd into a basketball arena all at once. Sometimes we are the players, the ones who are responsible for everything that is going on and our presence is front and center. Sometimes we are the coaches, giving comfort and encouragement, instructing with a clipboard in hand. Other times we are the referees, no striped shirts required but whistles are a must to break up the disputes when the game isn’t played as per the rules. Still other times we are the fans, cheering wildly from the stands, shouting from a distance but not from the floor. And then there are the days when we are the cheerleaders, the ones who scream 'Yeah, you can do it.' " ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
“The beauty of homeschooling is building relationships within our families and inspiring our children to become lifelong learners, gently leading them into the truth of Scripture and trusting that the work we have begun will be brought to completion by a sovereign God who has a plan for building His heavenly kingdom.” ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"A family that embraces a paradigm becomes lazy and doesn’t study the Word of God for themselves. They take what others state as gospel. They have to check in with the “expert” blogs to see how so and so is doing it. It requires little effort and, truthfully, little leadership on the part of the parents. Dads who think they are turning the hearts of their children to themselves are really turning the hearts of their children to the dad’s gurus!" ~ thatmom
thatmom also says:
“After parenting for 36 years, I have come to realize that all paradigms are basically a list of do’s and don’ts that someone has created. Instead of embracing a list, I have discovered that it is best for me to run all ideas, philosophies, and paradigms through my “one-anothering hopper.” I ask myself if the suggestions or ideas I am hearing will serve to build my relationships or will serve to tear them down; will they reflect the one-anothering commands of Scripture? I ask if they are a picture of Christ and His relationship with me as His needy daughter. If not, I am not interested, no matter how much appeal they might have for any number of reasons.” ~ thatmom
thatmom says this, too:
“The word wisdom is used in Exodus to describe the knowledge that the Lord gave to the skilled artisans so they could make Aaron’s garments for worship. We are told that these workers “were given wisdom and understanding in knowledge and all manner of workmanship.” I have never had to sew any garments for a priest to wear for worship. I have not had to sew any draperies or build any walls or prepare any inner sanctuary as per the Lord’s instructions. But I have been called to give all I can toward the goal of building up children in the faith, preparing children for life outside my home, children whose bodies, we are told, are called the very temple of the Holy Spirit, children whose job it is to worship in spirit and in truth." ~ thatmom
what does thatmom believe?
" What is thy only comfort in life and death? "That I, with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Savior Jesus Christ; who, with His precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him." ~ Heidelberg Catechism
What does it mean to be a Christian?

1.We must acknowledge that we are all sinners. “For we are all become as one that is unclean, and all our righteousnesses are as a polluted garment: and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. (Isaiah 64:6) and “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

2.We are all accountable for our own sins before God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)

3.There is only one way to be forgiven of these sins and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ. “Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

4.If we confess our sin to the Lord and repent of it (not allow it to rule in our lives) we can be forgiven and be in right standing with God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousenss.” (1 John 1:9)

5.Genuine salvation will result in living lives of good works but none of those works contribute in any way to our standing before God which is based solely and completely on the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. “But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God. (Hebrews 10:12) and “Not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to His mercy He saved us by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:5) and “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)

6.We all, men and women, boys and girls, have direct access to the throne of grace because everyone who is a born-again believer in Jesus Christ is called a “priest and king” in God’s economy. “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (I Peter 2:9)

I believe that many of the false teachings within the patriocentric movement are in direct contrast to these Scriptures and I would encourage each of us to first examine what we believe about Jesus and His work on the cross, its implications and its marvelous power.

Secondly, I would challenge anyone reading here to examine your own heart and ask yourself whether you have been trusting in good works….baptism, homeschooling, church attendance, modest dress, the list goes on and on, or if you have placed ALL your faith and hope in Jesus’ blood and righteousness alone.

And finally, I would challenge you to examine the teachings within your own church system, whether it is Protestant, Greek Orthodox, Roman Catholic, etc. Ask yourself what your church teaches about ecclesiastical authority and family authority. Does it line up with the Word of God? It is a top down system that requires certain works in exchange for a relationship with Jesus Christ or do you have the assurance that you are saved for eternity by His death on the cross in your stead? Does it teach that the fruits of the spirit and obedience to all the one anothers is what our lives will demonstrate or is there a list of man made rules?

If you desire to talk with me about this, please send me a note to My desire is that no one who visits this website will leave without knowing the glorious truth that we can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and can enjoy a life filled with His goodness and grace!

Adoration of the Home was painted by regional artist, Grant Wood. The original hangs in the Cedar Rapids Museum of Art. Ben Campbell and Lon Eldridge deserve extra cookies for writing, performing, recording, and mixing Mom’s Prairie Song for the podcast intro and outro. Great job, guys. Garrison Keillor would be proud.

Copyright © 2013 ~ ~ Karen Campbell ~ All Rights Reserved.