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grace study ~ week five

Published August 20, 2012

Today we begin the 4th chapter of our study of The Grace Awakening by Chuck Swindoll. The title of the chapter is “Undeserving, Yet Unconditionally Loved.” What a blessed thought as we begin our 5th week of study together!

Every religious group has its own list of “rules.” As Elisabeth Elliott points out, the lists have been around for centuries but the items on the list change all the time! The items on the list for being “godly” that she shared seem silly to us now…..give up colored clothes, give up sleeping on a soft pillow, give up taking warm baths……but we have had those same lists engrained into us, especially if we grew up in what i recently heard called “religious religous homes.” The lists for homechooling moms are even more overwhelming! What are some of those silly things on the lists? Do any of them still haunt you?

List them if you feel comfortable.

44 Responses to grace study ~ week five

  • Lindsey says:
    August 20, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Oh yes – the rules! :)

    The whole dresses only thing in the homeschool community drives me mad. I am all for modest, feminine dress but half the women I know who practice this are frumpy. You can make a pair of pants look mighty feminine & modest. I admire those who truly believe women should wear dresses only – but please stop with the disheveled look! It’s not feminine or modest.

    And the whole grind your own wheat, no TV allowed, etc…again, personal convictions. Not mandates for all.

  • thatmom says:
    August 20, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Since I didn’t grow up in a legalistic home or church environment I was once really taken aback when visiting a friend’s youth group with her. I was wearing a t-shirt from the Christian college I was planning to attend and her pastor took the opportunity to give me a huge lecture about my choice and how ungodly it was. I had no relationship whatsoever with the guy so it was very uncomfortable for me.

    I didn’t meet up with full blown legalism until I was in my 30’s and we began homeschooling. The lists included wearing only dresses and not coloring hair because God honors the “hoary head etc. Even now sometimes if I am somewhere dressed in jeans and see someone from the old days, I feel uncomfortable and like I need to change. In one group this voodoo even applied to the “naturalness” of the way potluck meals were prepared. Even making a casserole with a can of cream of mushroom soup brought a holier-than-thou comment from one elder.

  • Sallie says:
    August 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Oh yes. The Cream of Whatever Soup Pox. I’ve read some scathing comments written by moms online about women who use cream soup from a can. I mean really scathing like the future of Western Civilization depended on it.

    I do try to avoid it because the MSG is evil, but I have a couple of favorite recipes that call for it so I use it from time to time (and I’m too lazy to make it from scratch).

    Oh the lists… One of my favorite topics!

    Breastfeeding/bottle feeding
    Natural childbirth/Home birth/Water birth/Doula birth
    Baby wearing
    Diapering
    Organic/Non-organic
    Ezzo/Pearls/Current celebrity
    Homeschool/Private School/Public School
    Classical versus Charlotte Mason versus etc. etc. etc.
    Youth group
    Halloween
    Christmas trees
    TVs
    Dresses/Pants
    Makeup
    Family size
    Creation timeline/time frame

    I’m a bottle feeding, scheduled c-section woman with a cause. My cause is freeing women from stupid lists and expectations. :-)

  • thatmom says:
    August 20, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    One of my favorites is the color of your pantyhose….in some groups, colored stockings means you are drawing attention to your legs, thus you are immodest. On other groups, flesh colored stocking mean that you are wanting to attract men to your skin. :)

  • Becky says:
    August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Food and clothing… two things Jesus specifically said not to worry about. Yet they seem to be the first things people gravitate to when making rules for themselves!

    Banning cream of whatever soup–been there done that :-) Funny thing is the healthy fad is always changing. I used to grind our own wheat and even soak it (WAPF style) to make all our baked goods from scratch. Following Weston A Price guidelines seemed to be the big thing for awhile. I had kombucha mushrooms, made kefir, bought raw milk (and made yogurt, sour cream, mozzarella out of it), etc. A couple years ago I found out I’m gluten intolerant and so are 2 of my kids! I thought I was doing the most nutritious thing for us but turns out it was making us sick. After that I completely quit worrying about food other than avoiding gluten, of course, and keeping reasonable guidelines on junk food. I joke about writing WAPF a letter about my youngest son–he was a WAPF baby from conception until he was 2 or 3 years old so, according to WAPF, he should have had marvelously healthy and strong teeth. Instead, he has the worst teeth of any of my kids! He had to have half his baby teeth pulled or filled because he had so many cavities.

    I don’t know if WAPF is still popular or not; I see things now about gnowfglins but don’t really know what that stands for or entails. I don’t WANT to know! I’m enjoying the freedom and ease of putting white sugar and store-bought, pasteurized half and half in my coffee every morning and not feeling guilty about it. Life is more than food and clothing and I’m so enjoying not worrying about these things anymore.

  • Kelly says:
    August 20, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Karen, oh yes, the pantyhose! When I was a teenager I jut stopped wearing them. They were hot ( I lived in Florida), uncomfortable and too much work. Later, when I was newly married and having children, and just getting into the whole VF mode, I remember frantically searching thr ridiculous Harris-boys modesty survey to see if it was okay that I didn’t wear panty hose.

    I don’t remember what the all-knowing survey actually said, but I will never forget the feeling I had in those days that before I go clothes shopping, I must first consult that survey.

  • BlessedMomof5 says:
    August 20, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I know…I’ve got some of my own!! :) These are things that either I have been judged for or I have judged myself for. It’s usually both.

    *Youth group (I have felt shame until recently that I have allowed my teens to be involved…it is of satan, afterall, right?) Let’s disregard the fact that they’ve grown spiritually from the awesome leadership…the blanket view is that it is not of God.
    *Our choice of music instructors – I was told by a very legalistic homeschool father whom I had just met that I had no business allowing my son to take guitar lessons from someone who wasn’t a Christian.
    *I was judged by the wife of the above man for having my daughter in team sports…don’t you know that scripture in the NT about girls not playing sports? It’s there somewhere. I mean, it must be there for them to be so serious about it, right?
    *TV – we have one and we watch it. And worse than that, we have satellite!!!
    *Courtship – we have pursued it in a logical way, but I really don’t think we were doing it according to the rules of some. lol
    *cell phones and Facebook for my teen – I had a mom tell me how absolutely wordly those are. The nice thing, though, is it helped me to search out what “worldly” actually means. Just so you know, my search never unearthed cell phones and fb as culprits.
    *Our choice to control the size of our family.
    *Youth camps
    *Our choice to let our children go to church programs that “divide up our family.”
    *Makeup and hair color

    I could go on…my list is long enough as it is. My prayer is a repentance from my acceptance of these grace killers, my judgments of myself, and most especially my judgments of others using these same standards. That type of legalism breeds.

  • thatmom says:
    August 21, 2012 at 6:37 am

    Kelly, I could never understand how anyone south of the Mason Dixon line should feel obliged to wear pantyhose! Would really like to have a conversation about Yankee women perspective in homeschooling circles vs Southern Belle perspective. No offenses….any takers?

  • thatmom says:
    August 21, 2012 at 6:43 am

    Becky, really insightful comment re: food and clothing. Keep thinking of the hymn we sang on Sunday….”Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.” So many of these things distract us from our first love!

    Regarding natural foods…..thinking again of WWMGT….that is all they knew! They did what they had to do. I grew up with a dad who loved his organic garden and shared his bounty freely. In neither case was spirituality attached to this. I see that Vision Forum is on this bandwagon now as well. While I think there is wisdom to eating lots of vegetables and that as fresh as possible is the first best choice, the fact is that some of it is just too expensive if you live where there is a short growing season. But the idea of attaching our spiritual value to this stuff sends me.

  • thatmom says:
    August 21, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Grace Awakening ~ Thoughts for the Day

    Sometimes, such stringent standards form the increments on the yardstick that many people use to measure their commitment to Christ. If those standards had been acceptable to God, the Pharisees would have been spiritual giants. But it is not what we give up for Christ that matters, it is what we give. And what we are to give is our hearts, completely and passionately.

    “Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”
    And Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.” “A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.” Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.” Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?” And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”     ~ Luke 7:36-50

    Contrast the Pharisees with the repentant woman.

    Which person was the most respected in the community?

    Which one was most revered by Christ? Why?

    Describe the relationship between love and forgiveness.

    “ But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “ GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” ~ James 4:6

    Why is grace shown to the repentant woman and not the Pharisee?

    “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
    “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
    “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”     ~ Luke 18:9-14

    Which of the two people was a legalist?

    Which one gained the approval of God?

    Which one best describes your life?

  • Sallie says:
    August 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Karen,

    I’m going to venture into the Yankee/Southern Belle territory and hope I don’t regret it. I’m Midwestern to the core as is my extended family. My interactions with those from the south have been through work and online. I’ve developed several good friendships with southern women online and also frequent a secular discussion board that is heavily populated by southern belles (in the truest sense of the word).

    And please forgive me if I’m unfairly stereotyping here. I’m just trying to think about what Karen asked. :-)

    Anyway, the thing that I have always found most challenging to navigate as a Yankee when interacting with Southerners is the code of politeness and saving face. Southerners will often not tell you what they honestly think. They will be polite and “Bless your little heart” you, but not tell you frankly what they think – even when you ask and sincerely want or even need to know. They are sometimes polite to almost a fault. They tend to avoid arguments and dissension. They also have a much greater emphasis on respecting your elders. Not that we don’t respect our elders in the North, but it seems to play out differently.

    I wonder if part of the reason patriarchy has flourished in the South is due to some of these dynamics.

  • Stephanie says:
    August 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    If I can speak to yesterday’s post for a second…

    Growing up in some of the more radical edges of patriocentricity, pretty much anything and everything was considered worldly. I mean no disrespect to my parents–they have come out of a lot of this–but it was jeans/cut hair/makeup/jewelry, music styles, living in the country, you name it. BB guns, hair scrunchies, you name it. I know my family was not alone in labeling so many things worldly. 2 problems:

    One, it’s arbitrary. In one family, trimming hair was worldly but a glass of wine with supper was OK. In another, girls could wear shorts but their marriages were arranged. It boiled down to whatever the parents decided and wanted. There was no objective biblical standard. Consequently, I have seen young ppl from these families throw it ALL out. Their thought process seems to be, if eating white bread was said to be sinful, then how can I trust anything they told me about sin? This arbitrary legalism becomes a millstone.

    The other thing is that scripture actually STATES in Colossians that this approach is WORDLINESS ITSELF.

    “If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—“Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch”( referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.” (Col. 2:21)

    I was absolutely stunned the first time these verses sank in. In attempting to not be worldly, I was actually more worldly than the person who did all these forbidden things.

    The first time I saw a movie in a theater (Mel Gibson’s Patriot) I was just waiting for lightning to strike. Same thing the first time I left my baby in a church nursery. I just “knew” I was inviting the judgment of God. Imagine my surprise to learn that he does not care!

  • thatmom says:
    August 21, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Stephanie, great verse and such good insights. This whole concept of arbitrary legalism is one that I have seen destroy the faith of so many young people. How can our kids trust the Bible if we tell them something is “biblical” and they cannot find that “truth” in Scripture?!?!?!

  • thatmom says:
    August 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Sallie (wading in beside you),

    The discussion between northern raised and southern raised women and patriarchy came up the other night as Clay and I were chatting about our own grandmas. His grandmother was a suffragette and, along with her two sisters, marched through town taking axes to their local bars during Prohibition. They were powerful and opinionated and didn’t back down for diddly squat. I am not sure that Southern women are any different as so many were left to rebuild their lives and homes after the Civil War. Perhaps they handed down their determination to their women heirs. But the difference, as you pointed out, is that there is a sort of propriety that we Yankee women do not possess. We aren’t apt to serve tea and smile and nod and pull the strings behind the scenes. We march into the bars on Main Street, as it were, and take out our “axes.”

    I do think patriarchy was/is more embraced in the South, at least it appears to be so. But I think there is an awful lot of string pulling in these families.

    I had the opportunity to get to know the old southern grandmother of one of my friends. She was ladylike, never left the house without hair perfectly done and make-up on, a dress and always stockings. While I admired her appearance and her demure presentation, I wondered how a mom of littles could pull this off. Every one had the impression that her husband was in charge but when he died it quickly became apparent that she ran everything and made all the financial decisions etc.

    I also got to know our landlady when we lived in Georgia for a few months while Clay was in the army. Our house had a large screened in front porch and we practically lived out there during our stay. Her house was across the drive from us and it also had a small apartment where a young officer and his wife lived. (When I first watched Driving Miss Daisy I was sure it had been filmed at this house!) This woman was the picture of perfection, too, her husband a retired Colonel who had passed away. This was the 70′s and she still wore gloves when she “went to town.”

    One day I heard her scolding and carrying on next door and looked out to see her looking up into the faces of the officer and his wife, and letting them have it. It wasn’t a day or two before they had moved out. Later, in her sweet Southern voice and smiling the whole time, she told me that had been late with their rent and she made them leave!

  • Becky says:
    August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    WAPF is Weston A Price Foundation.

    Yes, I subscribe to some VF-oriented blogs (homeschool moms) & nutrition is a frequent topic. Health for godly generations and all that. It’s very easy to get a holier than thou attitude when it comes to food. I like the JJ Heller song that goes “I’m not the food that I don’t eat” :)

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    “I wonder if part of the reason patriarchy has flourished in the South is due to some of these dynamics.”

    Yes.

    I could tell you some things you would not believe.

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 21, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Sallie, I will offer this example.

    Several years ago my mom had surgery on her shoulder. I took a couple of days off work to stay with my folks and help care for her. Had had similar surgery, myself, so I knew what she was facing.

    My parents had a guest bed that was like sleeping on a cloud and I was looking forward to that.

    It turned out that my brother, who lives in another state, was going to be traveling on business not too far away, and so he planned to come in at the end of that week. When my mom told me he was coming, she told me I’d be sleeping on the couch.

    That may not seem like a big deal, but it is the pattern I grew up with: if there’s anything of value to be had, the males get it. If there’s anything left over, the females get it, unless the males want that too. Now that it the way my mom was raised (and my grandmother didn’t wear makeup or serve tea, she was working way too hard ever to do that). My dad didn’t enforce that at all but she did.

    I know my mother loves me. When I was in college I was in the orchestra. We had four concerts a year, on Thursday evenings. Both of my parents worked, but they drove 1.5 hours each way all four years, to attend those concerts, because they were interested in what I did. This gender thing had nothing to do with being loved less. It’s just how my mother was raised. Sometimes she could see through it.

    I could offer more examples but I don’t want to dwell on all that. It leads to feeling bad about stuff I can’t help and maybe even resentful toward people I love. But I will say that part of my “training” had to do with never confronting and never expressing anger or frustration, and it is really hard to learn how to do that. You have to, though, because if you internalize all that stuff it will make you sick. And the pattern of the Southern lady also encompasses throwing a monumental fit upon occasion because if you can’t confront, then you can wait until you get good and mad and let your anger take over for you. Talk about destructive.

    I so appreciate my husband. Well, for one thing, he respects the hell out of me and stands up for me, and that is very healing. But also if I am angry I can tell him, and even if he’s mad too he listens and is accepting of what I say, and if he thinks he is wrong he tells me so right away. So I don’t have to be that way with him.

  • Janelle says:
    August 21, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    I don’t know if you can escape it, it seems to be everywhere. The thing I struggle with is that the “in” people are the ones doing it around here, so if you don’t conform, you are pretty much on your own. :(

    The one that’s bothering me the most right now is swimming suits. We were invited to swim tomorrow and the rule is “modest dress”, which I don’t have a problem with. My girls (11, 13, 14) have two piece tankini suit with cute little skirts, no problem. It’s the boys. I’m required to have my 2yo wear a rash guard (swimming shirt) to cover his bare chest. Since we don’t have one and we are unable to get one at this late date, we had to decline. I even asked the mom to verify, and she said even the little babies need to be wearing one. I hate to see my girls left out of yet another activity.

  • Sallie says:
    August 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Now that’s interesting. Around here, the man would get the couch. The woman would absolutely get the comfy bed.

    I’m sitting here thinking through all my friends and relatives and what they would say if they were presented with this scenario…

    Nope. I can’t think of even one of them who would give it to the man.

    I’m glad you have a wonderful husband! :-)

  • Thinking about this says:
    August 22, 2012 at 12:21 am

    I live in the “south”. Southern women are some of the most fiery, and opinionated women I have met.

    My Grandma would “Bless your heart” and then mutter under her breath what she really thought to everyone and anyone who would listen.

    My husband is from the north, and I get frustrated because it seems to me, his family is “shut-mouth” about a lot issues. I have to walk on eggshells with them, always fearing I am offending them in some way.

    But with Southern women, I can tell my opinion, and they might be offended, but they are graceful about their differences with you. They might bless your heart a few times though. ;-) They will say what they think in response, but in a polite manner.

    But I find, with my northern side of the family, that if you dare to share an opinion, and it differs from theirs, they won’t even discuss it with you. They are set in their opinion, and that’s that. No use talking about it. Talking about it is half of the fun! ;-)

    Also, one of my husband’s grandfather really played havoc on his wife’s emotions. It has been said that she said “NOTHING” for all the years her children were growing up. Then all of the sudden she “snapped” and had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed bi-polar…after she raised six children.

    I remember sitting and chatting with my Southern Grandma while she was in her house gown, and hair rollers, about anything and everything. Once, when I was “ultra-Christian” my Grandma said, “You really have a nice figure. You need to show it more, instead of wearing those old dresses all the time!” She even bought me a leather skirt!! LOL!

    I really think the subordination of women comes from the type of church culture, and not really the geography. Now….maybe it was *in* the south that these types of subordination of women churches became stronger, and it just worked that way.

    But I really don’t see how Southern women are more apt to be subservient than Northern women.

    Saying that, my mom was raised on the Eastern Seaboard, north of Virginia, and married my dad, who was raised by a Southern woman, So I got a mixture of both worlds, and maybe I just don’t see what others might see.

    I also think it has to do with personality. There are some types of personalities that are more submissive than others. Or more stronger willed to be submissive than others.

    But my dad will be the first to tell you, that his mom threw a frying pan at his dad, because he made her really mad one day. And I think he also said, she didn’t speak to him for a week after she did it too. Not very Debi Pearlish, eh? ;-)

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 22, 2012 at 5:59 am

    Of course people are different anywhere. Family dynamics are different. City vs. rural (or “country”).

    Thinking about this, look at what you said: “My Grandma would “Bless your heart” and then mutter under her breath what she really thought….” and “they might be offended, but they are graceful about their differences with you.”

    This is the kind of training I am talking about. Yes, it’s good to be polite and to have self control. For some personalities, getting there in this culture is a painful process of being made to choke back every negative thought you have, growing up, until you can be like that.

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 22, 2012 at 6:04 am

    Janelle, that is ridiculous.

    I’m a bit uncomfortable when I see a toddler girl, or even a very young little girl, at the beach in a two-piece bathing suit, especially the ones where the top is two triangles. I’d actually rather see them in just the bottom. To have the top over a toddler’s innocent little chest as if we have to hide the boobs they won’t even HAVE for years yet, seems to me to sexualize tiny children. I realize I’m probably in the minority here and was surprised, myself, to find that I felt that way.

  • thatmom says:
    August 22, 2012 at 6:48 am

    “I could tell you some things you would not believe.”

    Laura, you have the floor!

    You know, who sleeps on the couch is a reoccurring theme in movies and TV shows….always the woman gets the bed in these scenarios. Isn’t it interesting how the “man first” concept looks in the nitty gritty of life?

    I also ditto your thoughts on holding in emotions vs expressing them. There is a whole strain of “child training” that teaches that emotions are bad. You see it in children who are physically abused and do not cry. I remember seeing littles from one family who didn’t flinch when their cheeks or thighs were tightly pinched. Sure, there were tears flowing down their faces, but their facial expressions didn’t change.

  • thatmom says:
    August 22, 2012 at 6:51 am

    Janelle, I read your comment before I went to bed and tossed around a bit feeling angry for your kids. The worst part of legalism, to me, is what it does to kids. Often it doesn’t let them even be kids, as in this situation. And it leaves parents explaining the “rules” from other families which is always a sticky wicket. Hope you all find something else fun to do today…..{{{{{}}}}}

  • thatmom says:
    August 22, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Grace Awakening ~ Thoughts for the Day

    Describe an incident in your life where someone showed you undeserved kindness.

    How did it affect your feelings toward that person?

    Now describe an incident in your past where someone judged you harshly by a rigid set of legalistic standards.

    How did it effect your feelings toward that person?

    In 2 Samuel 9, we read the story of David’s kindness to Mephibosheth, the grandson of Saul:

    “Then David said, “Is there yet anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David; and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” And he said, “I am your servant.” The king said, “Is there not yet anyone of the house of Saul to whom I may show the kindness of God?” And Ziba said to the king, “ There is still a son of Jonathan who is crippled in both feet.” So the king said to him, “Where is he?” And Ziba said to the king, “Behold, he is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.” Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, from Lo-debar. Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and prostrated himself. And David said, “Mephibosheth.” And he said, “Here is your servant!” David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will surely show kindness to you for the sake of your father Jonathan, and will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul; and you shall eat at my table regularly.” Again he prostrated himself and said, “What is your servant, that you should regard a dead dog like me?”

    Then the king called Saul’s servant Ziba and said to him, “ All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master’s grandson. You and your sons and your servants shall cultivate the land for him, and you shall bring in the produce so that your master’s grandson may have food; nevertheless Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall eat at my table regularly.” Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. Then Ziba said to the king, “According to all that my lord the king commands his servant so your servant will do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table as one of the king’s sons. Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. And all who lived in the house of Ziba were servants to Mephibosheth. So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate at the king’s table regularly. Now he was lame in both feet.”

    Has there ever been a time when God showered you with kindness the way David did Mephibosheth? Describe it.

    If so, how did that act of kindness affect your relationship with God?

  • Thinking about this says:
    August 22, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Perhaps it’s a Southern thing with the training and all. But I have seen the same thing in the Northern women too. No offense to all you ladies in the cold north! ;-)

    Discussing this a bit with my husband, this is the conclusion that we came to. Everyone is an individual, and anyone, from any part of the country can fall prey to patriarchy.

    Women from the South have the “appearance” of being more subservient, as a generalization. However, the southern woman is more of a manipulator. They give the appearance of being subservient, but they are good at the art of manipulation behind the scenes.

    Where as a woman from the north will not manipulate the situation, and will be more “blunt” and “bold” with her manner.

    But both are not “subservient”

    As far as the North/South women in patriarchy, both geographical women can gravitate towards it. They both suffer ill effects from it, and it depends on their personalities on how they handle it. One might be more apt to have emotional outbursts, and one might have the grit to bare it like a solider and you would never know it’s hurting her deeply.

    As far as I go…I was born in Atlanta. But raised by a woman from NJ and a Dad from FL. I was brought up in a Christian home, but I was never made to feel like I was less than anyone. I was free to express my opinion. I had an older brother, and my parents were fair in how they treated me and him and my other sister.

    *I* went into patriarchy on my own… I think it was because I wanted something “sure”…and that would provide me stability. In my own personality, I was drawn towards it. My mom thought I was a bit nutty, and my dad just sort of ignored it. I wanted to be Amish of all things! I knew that would be impossible, so I found the next best thing at that time….Independent Baptists.

    I didn’t get too far along in my journey before I began to be plagued with anxiety attacks, and deep depression.

    I know what you mean as far as not being able to say anything. But I was not trained that way, and I *was* raised in the South. Just not in a patriarchal home.

    I used to live in FL, and that is the “melting pot” of the South, so that might be affecting my perceptions of the south too. But I did get to meet and interact with a lot of people from the North because of snow birds and all. And the Northern people still gravitated towards the wacko patriarchy churches, just as much as the Southern people.

    In fact, if you recall, Jack Schaaps church is in Indiana…and it’s the largest IFB church in America.

    As far as the women in that culture. It’s crazy! If anything is “Stepford Wife” it’s First Baptist Church of Hammond. ;-)

    When I went to IFB Bible College in FL, that is the first time I heard of Jack Hyles and Jack Schaap. And right away, (even for me at that time) I knew something was “off” about the way these people talked about Jack Hyles, and how wonderful and big the church was. Their eyes would gloss over, and their faces would shine in a weird way.

    Why would women in the North, (if their culture wasn’t to be like that) go for a church like that?

    Example, look at this clip from their Bible College:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–lNF18MlWY&sns=fb

    The wife is reminding me of Michelle Duggar when she looks at Jim Bob speaking. I don’t know why they have her in this video even? She just sits there and stares at the guy, LOL!

    Anyway, I could be wrong about all my perceptions…but I think it boils down to church culture, more than geographical demographics.

  • thatmom says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

    “Women from the South have the “appearance” of being more subservient, as a generalization. However, the southern woman is more of a manipulator. They give the appearance of being subservient, but they are good at the art of manipulation behind the scenes.

    Where as a woman from the north will not manipulate the situation, and will be more “blunt” and “bold” with her manner.”

    Exactly!

  • thatmom says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:19 am

    That clip from the Hammond church is really something isn’t it? I saw a promo video for Hyles-Anderson many years ago and let me tell you it was weird. It opened with the camera panning a room full of women at sewing machines…about 50 of them. Patriocentricity at its finest. And I LOVE to sew!

  • Leila says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Interesting that Elisabeth Elliot said this … because IMHO she can be pretty darned legalistic herself!

  • Stephanie says:
    August 22, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    I agree, although some geographical generalizations hold true, people are different everywhere. I know a lot of stereotypically “sweet” Southern Belles, but I also know a lot of Southern women who will cut you off at the knees and let you bleed without thinking twice.

    Although I wasn’t born in the South, I did learn my social skills there. Combined with my personality, it makes it really hard for me to be blunt.

  • Becky says:
    August 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Janelle, that is terrible. I understand their mindset though–that was me once and it makes me sick to think of it. We spent today at the lake with hs’ers & I’m so thankful to have a group around who is not into the legalistic stuff like dress codes.

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 22, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Thinking, Atlanta is so much different from Podunk, Mississippi that it might as well be on the moon. My grandmother had to go to boarding school to go past 8th grade. There were twelve students in my mother’s graduating class in high school, which was the only school in the community. Maybe isolation is part of the puzzle.

  • thatmom says:
    August 23, 2012 at 6:31 am

    Thought this was interesting and needed to be shared. It can really apply to all of us.


    How to Spiritually Manipulate Young People in Six Easy Steps

    Step 1. Present a test that supposedly measures one’s love for God. Every Christian young person desires to love God, of course, and will be excited to confirm their commitment to their Savior!

    Step 2. Present scripture out of context that insinuates that one is God’s enemy if they fail the test. This heightens the spiritual stakes of the test, and makes it a much more serious matter. Helpful Hint: Be sure they don’t realize that God didn’t actually write the test.

    Step 3. Present the test. The test should consist of a list of false dichotomies in which either choice (with one exception in the given example) is biblically acceptable. It’s especially helpful if both sides are even biblically encouraged, as in the second and fourth questions below. However, one of the answers must always sound more pious and godly than the choice on the other side. This will ensure that all who take the quiz will “fail” it.

    Step 4. Conclude the test with another out of context scripture which will confirm that because they failed the test, they have left their first love and that God has something against them. This will result in severe guilt and anguish. Again, be sure they don’t realize they are feeling guilt over loving things that God created for them to enjoy, such as friendships, fellowship, music, and literature.

    Step 5. Present a 10-day workshop that will help them deal with the newly created guilt by making a bunch of commitments and vows to deeper godliness, all of which cause them to sacrifice their God-given Christian liberty in order to fit within a man-created system of religiosity.

    Step 6. Rinse and repeat. Once they’ve bought into your system, it will be hard for them to get out. The only way this will happen is if they figure out that God’s love isn’t conditioned upon their behavior, and that the only path to holiness is to walk daily within His sustaining grace. Once they figure that out, you’ve lost them. Sorry.

    http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/07/how-to-spiritually-manipulate-young-people-in-six-easy-steps/

  • thatmom says:
    August 23, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Grace Awakening ~ Thoughts for the Day

    Psalm 103

    Bless the LORD, O my soul,
    And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
    Bless the LORD, O my soul,
    And forget none of His benefits;3 Who pardons all your iniquities,
    Who heals all your diseases;
    Who redeems your life from the pit,
    Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
    Who satisfies your years with good things,
    So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
    The LORD performs righteous deeds
    And judgments for all who are oppressed.
    He made known His ways to Moses,
    His acts to the sons of Israel.
    The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
    Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
    He will not always strive with us,
    Nor will He keep His anger forever.
    He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
    Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
    For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
    As far as the east is from the west,
    So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
    Just as a father has compassion on his children,
    So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.
    For He Himself knows our frame;
    He is mindful that we are but dust.
    As for man, his days are like grass;
    As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
    When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
    And its place acknowledges it no longer.
    But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who [f]fear Him,
    And His righteousness to children’s children,
    To those who keep His covenant
    And remember His precepts to do them.
    The LORD has established His throne in the heavens,
    And His sovereignty rules over all.
    Bless the LORD, you His angels,
    Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
    Obeying the voice of His word!
    Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
    You who serve Him, doing His will.
    Bless the LORD, all you works of His,
    In all places of His dominion;
    Bless the LORD, O my soul!

    Meditate on this passage today; remind yourself of God’s kindness to you! List them on paper and place them some place where you can be reminded of them!

  • thatmom says:
    August 24, 2012 at 8:34 am

    Grace Awakening ~ Thoughts for the Day

    “Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” ~ Romans 2:4

    Read Psalm 136 and meditate on God’s past kindnesses. Then consider the grace He has shown to you. Express grace to someone else today, for God’s glory!

    “Grace has to be the loveliest word in the English language. It embodies almost every attractive quality we hope to find in others. Grace is a gift of the humble to the humiliated. Grace acknowledges the ugliness of sin by choosing to see beyond it. Grace accepts a person as someone worthy of kindness despite whatever grime or hard-shell casing keeps him or her separated from the rest of the world. Grace is a gift of tender mercy when it makes the least sense.” ~ Chuck Swindoll

  • Heather says:
    August 24, 2012 at 8:53 am

    As a child I was taught to never use the words pride, luck or “I want”. Using these words today is still difficult for me to do without hesitation. And I am fifty! It was hard for me to avoid passing on these rules and ones like them. In my early days as a mother I tried to avoid any Halloween fun, using the word “magic”, and I was overly scared of all kinds of realities of life – children being abducted, etc.

    My parents came out of the Scottish “Exclusive Brethern”, EB, which is a group that set the standard for legalistic hypocrisy. People today who think that they have the “right” church doctrines and practices could not hold a candle to the EB. Dress, appearance, conduct, eating and drinking, where to live and whom to live with, how to relate to unsaved relative (or rather how not to!”) and shunning when you went against their will, was all controlled by a cadre of men who made lives utterly miserable. I don’t think the EB got much of a foothold in the US and they are not the same as the “Open Brethern” or other Brethern churches, as far as I know.

    Now I “want” a cup of coffee. I am “proud” of my good tasting coffee! If I am “lucky” I can have two cups while it is hot!

    That kind of talk still sends shivers up my spine! LOL

  • Laura(southernxyl) says:
    August 24, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Heather, it’s amazing how much some of us need to beat other people down. I am glad you got out from under that.

    I’ve read a lot of pop psychology in my day. There’s a lot of low-hanging fruit out there in the form of unhappiness that you can address if you can get somebody to just think about what they want, as opposed to what others want from them. We talk a lot about selfishness and how wrong it is, and it is wrong, and one reason why it’s wrong is what it does to other people who are vulnerable, either because they’re very young, or dependent, or just not strong personalities.

  • Sadie says:
    August 30, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    I grew up in IFB churches but was thankfully taught grace in an MK school and a small Bible college. I think it’s both funny and ironic (and sad?) that there are so many other movements out there in Christendom, each with its own good guys and bad guys lists. So the doctrinal groups I was taught were “bad guys” have their own whole lists of bad guys, and “we” were on theirs. It was very hard for me to decide to home school because I’m afraid I might be perceived as one of “them.”

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truth from the Word
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73: 25-26
more truth from the Word
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:32
Francis Chan says:
"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
Tim Keller says:
"God’s love and forgiveness can pardon and restore any and every kind of sin or wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done. It doesn’t matter if you’ve deliberately oppressed or even murdered people, or how much you’ve abused yourself… There is no evil that the Father’s love cannot pardon and cover, there is no sin that is a match for his grace." ~ Tim Keller
Tim Keller also says:
“The Christian gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.” ! Tim Keller in The Reason for God.
Oswald Chambers says:
"If we simply preach the effects of redemption in the human life instead of the revealed, divine truth regarding Jesus Himself, the result is not new birth in those who listen. The result is a refined religious lifestyle, and the Spirit of God cannot witness to it because such preaching is in a realm other than His." ~ Oswald Chambers
Phillip E. Johnson says:
“When pressed in interviews to name my heroes, I have spontaneously responded that they are homeschooling mothers! To me, the heroic mothers who nurture the next generation of faithful Christians are among the leaders of the church.” ~ Phillip E. Johnson
John Stonestreet says:
“C.S. Lewis said that for every new book we read, we ought to read three old ones. But I think for every latest, greatest new homeschooling book you read, go find three old homeschooling moms and ask them what happened and what worked.” ~ John Stonestreet
Carolyn Custis James says:
“The power of our theology comes alive when we take the truth personally. Holding God at arm’s length—no matter how much theology we think we know—will never make us great theologians. We have to learn to write our own names into the plot. God will always be the subject of our theological sentences but our sentences are incomplete until we make ourselves the direct objects of his attributes…..Simply knowing a lot of theological ideas, no matter how orthodox and sound they are, will never turn us into great theologians. Theology isn’t really theology for us until we live it. Not until we learn to make explicit connections between what we know about God and the race we are running will we taste the transforming power of our theology. Fixing our eyes on Jesus means reminding ourselves of all that He is to us now. He brings meaning to our routines and energizes us to tackle the difficult tasks at hand. Fixing our eyes on Jesus gives us hope to offer disheartened husbands and hurting friends, and the wisdom we need to raise children who will fix their eyes on Him, too.” ~ from Carolyn Custis James in When Life and Beliefs Collide
Anne Ortlund says:
“So what do we do to encourage them to grow inwardly, to become resourceful and creative, to think, to meditate, to lay the foundation for growing up well? Don’t push, but affirm them! Give them the sense that all is well, that their rate of progress is acceptable to you, that you like them just the way they are…..Guide them but be delighted in them. Let them know that life is to be reached for and drunk of deeply…..Enthusiastic, that’s how you want them to grow up! The word comes from “en Theo,” or “in God.” Support them with words of faith, hope, and love, and in that framework “in God,” they’ll be ready to tackle everything. Fears and cautions are built in at an early age but so is courage! Tomorrow’s world will be different if your child has been released to experiment, to risk, to lead others, to pursue righteousness, to be an affecter for good in society, to go courageously after God.” ~ Anne Ortlund in Children Are Wet Cement
J.C Ryle says:
"Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart." ~ J. C. Ryle in The Upper Room
Clay Clarkson says:
“Many Christian parents, myself included, tend to speak to children as though they were Pharisees. We can speak harshly and with judgment, implying by our manner that their hearts are hard and resistant. But this attitude is not justified by Scripture. There is no record of Jesus ever speaking to a a child in a harsh tone. When the Gospels record Him speaking to a child, it is always with gentleness. Our children are not our adversaries. Though our children’s hearts are corrupted by sin, they are not hardened sinners who have made conscious choices to reject the Savior. Our children are simply immature and childish. That’s why children need love and compassion, not harshness and guilt.” ~ Clay Clarkson in Heartfelt Discipline
Tim Kimmel says:
“Grace can’t be some abstract concept that you talk about in your home. It has to be a real-time action that ultimately imprints itself in your children’s hearts. To talk about grace, sing about grace, and have our children memorize verses about grace – but not give them specific gifts of grace – is to undermine God’s words of grace in their hearts. Grace means that God not only loves them but that He loves them uniquely and specially. The primary way to give our children grace is to offer it in place of our selfish preferences.” ~ Tim Kimmel in Grace-Based Parenting
Chuck Swindoll says:
"You want to mess up the minds of your children? Here's how - guaranteed! Rear them in a legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your spirituality. Train your children to do the same. Embrace a long list of do's and don'ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately...yet never own up to the fact that its hypocrisy. Act one way but live another. And you can count on it - emotional and spiritual damage will occur. "
Kathy Thile says:
"I say this gently, as the parent of grown kids, knowing *insert parenting guru* is also the parent of grown kids: we have wonderful children — he does, I’m sure — and so do I. But without even knowing his children I can know this about them: they are not perfect. They hurt. They make mistakes. They struggle. They are prideful and overly simplistic at times; and crippled by shame and hesitancy at others. Yes — they are beautiful examples of human beings, his children (I assume), and mine (I know.) But they are not perfect. If they were, they would not be human. If it were possible to raise children to perfection, then God would have sent a parenting method, not Jesus. Our marching orders are not to raise our children by a method to be like *insert parenting guru* children. Our marching orders are to be Christians to and with our children." ~ Kathy Thile
Anna Quindlen says:
“The biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less." ~ Anna Quindlen
Winston Churchill says:
“My education was interrupted only by my schooling." ~ Winston Churchill
John Taylor Gatto says:
"The shocking possibility that dumb people don’t exist in sufficient numbers to warrant the millions of careers devoted to tending them will seem incredible to you. Yet that is my central proposition: the mass dumbness which justifies official schooling first had to be dreamed of; it isn’t real." ~ John Taylor Gatto
Fred Rogers say:
“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” ~ Fred Rogers
thatmom says
"The truth is that the way a marriage becomes truly heavenly is for each husband and each wife to pursue, really pursue, a relationship with Jesus Christ, to commit to obey the Word of God, to set aside each of their own agendas and paradigms, and then as they walk in the Holy Spirit, as they are sanctified, a little at a time each day, they will grow closer to one another. Godly wisdom will manifest itself in purity, peace, gentleness, mercy, a willingness to submit to one another, the fruits of the spirit, and no role-playing (the true meaning of hypocrisy). (James 3:17)" ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"We need to approach our children not as character projects, but rather, we must see them with hearts of sympathy, with compassion and understanding, and with ears that listen. You see, homeschooling is not about lesson plans and research papers and standardized tests. Homeschooling is about building a relationship with our children, friendships that will last our entire lives on earth and clear into eternity. Homeschooling is merely the tool whereby we build those relationships." ~ thatmom
thatmom knows:
As a homeschooling mom, I have realized that everything, ultimately, is outside of my own control. I have learned that the unique circumstances that happen in my family have occurred because God’s plan is so much bigger than my own. It is knowing this truth about God and in experiencing that truth with those in my home that has enabled us to face past challenges and that will prepare us for all those difficulties that still lie before us.
thatmom realizes:
If I think about 37 years of marriage, times the number of loads of laundry I have done for 2 parents, 6 children and 1 grandma, I am amazed to know that I have washed, dried, folded, (sometimes ironed) and put away roughly 27,526 loads of laundry. That is over 215,000 socks! Or, in that same amount of time, provided 38,324 meals for a family and sometimes guests. Or that I have overseen nearly 21,500 hours of education of one sort or another during that time. Just thinking of these numbers takes my breath away. ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"Real books from the library, a tub of art supplies, being read stories rich in vocabulary, a variety of good music, the daily discussion of God’s Word and how it relates to the world around him, and the attention of a loving parent who includes him in all the activities of real life are the secrets to a great learning experience for children." ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"Being a mom is sort of like being all the people who crowd into a basketball arena all at once. Sometimes we are the players, the ones who are responsible for everything that is going on and our presence is front and center. Sometimes we are the coaches, giving comfort and encouragement, instructing with a clipboard in hand. Other times we are the referees, no striped shirts required but whistles are a must to break up the disputes when the game isn’t played as per the rules. Still other times we are the fans, cheering wildly from the stands, shouting from a distance but not from the floor. And then there are the days when we are the cheerleaders, the ones who scream 'Yeah, you can do it.' " ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
“The beauty of homeschooling is building relationships within our families and inspiring our children to become lifelong learners, gently leading them into the truth of Scripture and trusting that the work we have begun will be brought to completion by a sovereign God who has a plan for building His heavenly kingdom.” ~ thatmom
thatmom says:
"A family that embraces a paradigm becomes lazy and doesn’t study the Word of God for themselves. They take what others state as gospel. They have to check in with the “expert” blogs to see how so and so is doing it. It requires little effort and, truthfully, little leadership on the part of the parents. Dads who think they are turning the hearts of their children to themselves are really turning the hearts of their children to the dad’s gurus!" ~ thatmom
thatmom also says:
“After parenting for 36 years, I have come to realize that all paradigms are basically a list of do’s and don’ts that someone has created. Instead of embracing a list, I have discovered that it is best for me to run all ideas, philosophies, and paradigms through my “one-anothering hopper.” I ask myself if the suggestions or ideas I am hearing will serve to build my relationships or will serve to tear them down; will they reflect the one-anothering commands of Scripture? I ask if they are a picture of Christ and His relationship with me as His needy daughter. If not, I am not interested, no matter how much appeal they might have for any number of reasons.” ~ thatmom
thatmom says this, too:
“The word wisdom is used in Exodus to describe the knowledge that the Lord gave to the skilled artisans so they could make Aaron’s garments for worship. We are told that these workers “were given wisdom and understanding in knowledge and all manner of workmanship.” I have never had to sew any garments for a priest to wear for worship. I have not had to sew any draperies or build any walls or prepare any inner sanctuary as per the Lord’s instructions. But I have been called to give all I can toward the goal of building up children in the faith, preparing children for life outside my home, children whose bodies, we are told, are called the very temple of the Holy Spirit, children whose job it is to worship in spirit and in truth." ~ thatmom
what does thatmom believe?
" What is thy only comfort in life and death? "That I, with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Savior Jesus Christ; who, with His precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him." ~ Heidelberg Catechism
What does it mean to be a Christian?

1.We must acknowledge that we are all sinners. “For we are all become as one that is unclean, and all our righteousnesses are as a polluted garment: and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. (Isaiah 64:6) and “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

2.We are all accountable for our own sins before God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)

3.There is only one way to be forgiven of these sins and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ. “Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

4.If we confess our sin to the Lord and repent of it (not allow it to rule in our lives) we can be forgiven and be in right standing with God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousenss.” (1 John 1:9)

5.Genuine salvation will result in living lives of good works but none of those works contribute in any way to our standing before God which is based solely and completely on the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. “But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God. (Hebrews 10:12) and “Not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to His mercy He saved us by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:5) and “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)

6.We all, men and women, boys and girls, have direct access to the throne of grace because everyone who is a born-again believer in Jesus Christ is called a “priest and king” in God’s economy. “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (I Peter 2:9)

I believe that many of the false teachings within the patriocentric movement are in direct contrast to these Scriptures and I would encourage each of us to first examine what we believe about Jesus and His work on the cross, its implications and its marvelous power.

Secondly, I would challenge anyone reading here to examine your own heart and ask yourself whether you have been trusting in good works….baptism, homeschooling, church attendance, modest dress, the list goes on and on, or if you have placed ALL your faith and hope in Jesus’ blood and righteousness alone.

And finally, I would challenge you to examine the teachings within your own church system, whether it is Protestant, Greek Orthodox, Roman Catholic, etc. Ask yourself what your church teaches about ecclesiastical authority and family authority. Does it line up with the Word of God? It is a top down system that requires certain works in exchange for a relationship with Jesus Christ or do you have the assurance that you are saved for eternity by His death on the cross in your stead? Does it teach that the fruits of the spirit and obedience to all the one anothers is what our lives will demonstrate or is there a list of man made rules?

If you desire to talk with me about this, please send me a note to shesthatmom@gmail.com. My desire is that no one who visits this website will leave without knowing the glorious truth that we can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and can enjoy a life filled with His goodness and grace!

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credits
Adoration of the Home was painted by regional artist, Grant Wood. The original hangs in the Cedar Rapids Museum of Art. Ben Campbell and Lon Eldridge deserve extra cookies for writing, performing, recording, and mixing Mom’s Prairie Song for the podcast intro and outro. Great job, guys. Garrison Keillor would be proud.

Copyright © 2013 ~ thatmom.com. ~ Karen Campbell ~ All Rights Reserved.

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