Since March is the month this year when Clay works incredibly long hours, I am getting into my spring cleaning project mode a little earlier than usual. I want to totally reorganize my kitchen, hoping to leave almost all the counter surface space free for working. I have been trying to introduce many more fresh foods into our diet, which calls for lots more preparation space. So I have a list of things I hope to accomplish, based on my goals for the use of my kitchen.

I also want the room to be aesthetically pleasing to me so I am putting my jars of whole grains out where I can enjoy looking at them. I am sewing new curtains for the pantry shelves and windows. I am adding fresh, bright color and replacing cookbooks with vintage enamelware and Fiesta tea cups. It makes me smile to think of it.

Yes, I have a list and intend to check off every item on it during the next few weeks.

And it is my list for my own kitchen.

I had been working through my project list yesterday, when I came across articles online that made me think about those who make “biblical” lists for others (not to mention JD’s comments on this blog about manliness). One of them involved whether or not women ought to wear skirts or pants, a discussion I am tired of, frankly; the arguments are so foolish. Full disclosure time: when I was homeschooling little ones and was always needing a Kleenex, marker, rubber band, glue stick, nail file, diaper pin, eraser, twist tie, and who knows what else, I took Mary Pride’s advice and wore bib overalls. The pockets were great for keeping track of these things, they could be worn several days in a row before washing, and any milk leakage while nursing was hidden away. I did put on a bit of make-up and wear cute shirts under them. But I digress.

The second article I read was about girls having “come hither” looks, which, of course was pretty subjective. The amusing part of that discussion was that the homeschooling mom who was so concerned was challenged by a commenter who accused her of having her own “come hither” look on her blog photo. Of course, the discussion then involved the subjective nature of the whole thing in the first place, though obviously both women thought their own interpretations of the “come hither” look was the right one and that they were each being objective. Which, of course, will always be the result when a man’s (or woman’s) agenda is elevated to the place of Scripture.

And then the last thing I read involved Michelle Duggar’s handout for women entitled “Seven Basic Needs of a Husband” which was shown on a recent episode of her television show. Having marinated in the Bill Gothard materials for a number of years, I immediately recognized the telltale IBLP font and the magic number 7 for outlining Gothard’s principles. While the assumption is that these apply to all men, they don’t. On this list are preferences and their applications, things that might apply to some husbands but not necessarily to all husbands.

It was like JD’s assertion that manliness requires hunting and fishing and skinning rabbits, lest a boy grow up and watch porn. Maybe for some men and boys, that could be a purposed formula. {{{{{shrug}}}}} But it certainly does not apply to all men and, of course, is nowhere to be found in Scripture so it is certainly not a command.

In fact, Scripture does tell us how we are lead into sinful sexual behavior, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (James 1:14) and it gives us commands for dealing with lust: “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” (Matthew 5:29-30) In other words, we are to take serious steps to avoid those things which cause us to succumb to things that are a temptation.

Which brings me to the list.

I think we as homeschooling moms can be so easily tempted into sin, to the the very real lusts of the flesh, by the lists of others; we are, in many ways, far more peer dependent than our children. As if being a mom isn’t guilt-inducing enough, because we are the educators of our kids, too, we desperately want to do it right on a number of levels. And because we are Christians, our greatest desire is to raise children who love the Lord and who live godly lives. So how easy it is for us to want to jump on the list bandwagon and embrace the path someone lays out for us. If they label it “biblical,” we are all the more susceptible! So how do we avoid this? Well, here is my list that helps me avoid lists.

1. I imagine I am looking at someone else’s grocery list, things that are helpful to the person who made the list but not necessarily things I will buy for me or my family. Like shopping for food, the principle is what matters…my family has to eat. But the specific items on the list are pretty subjective: some people want black olives, some want green. There are 2% milk drinkers, there are skim milk drinkers, there are whole milk drinkers, there are raw milk drinkers. Which of these things belong on my list for my family? Both kinds of olives and 2% milk!

The same is true for personal lifestyle lists. There will be a principle: seek to delight and bless your own children and your own husband, for example. But how I plan to do that will look personal to my own family. If I were to follow Michelle Duggar’s advice and attempt to teach my husband the nuances of women’s hairstyles, it would be absurd. In fact, learning about women’s hair is near if not at the bottom of his personal delight list!

2.Before I make any changes, ie, add items to my list, I take a long look at the person who owns the list. In the grocery store, I would be inclined to ignore any nutrition advice from an enormous man with a cart full of Marshmallow Creme wouldn’t I? I have the same response to someone who offers me a recipe for legalistic man made fluff rather than spiritual nourishment, a stone rather than the Bread of Life, bitter drink rather than the Spring of Living Water. If someone’s list leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I recognize it for what it is and toss it out.

3.The only lists I will fully embrace are ones that are commands (or warnings) from the Word of God. I purpose to practice the list of one anothers. I will understand and avoid the desires of the flesh and embrace the fruits of the spirit in my own life. (Galatians 5:16-25.) These are the lists I will keep.

4.I will keep away from professional list makers. 1 John 2:16 warns us: “For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer talked about “cheap grace,” grace that is sold like “cheap Jack’s wares.” The grace of God offered to us is anything but cheap. It was paid for by Jesus on the cross. Cheap man made lists have the tendency to make you think that if you do the things on the list, you have really accomplished something, especially if the word “biblical” is attached. The truth is that we cannot do anything apart from the grace of God.

Especially keep a list!

I have been trying to keep the Relationship Homeschooling Facebook page updated with all sorts of links to project ideas for kids of all ages as well as mommy inspiration, like the website pictured above, to promote the precious relationship building that is central to successful homeschooling. If you haven’t yet joined, please come on over, click “LIKE” and invite all your friends!

During my second year at a Christian university, I enrolled in a 5 hour class called The Humanity of Christ. During the semester, we spent countless hours dissecting the ramifications of a creator God who came to earth as a human being. At the end of the course, there was one central conclusion we all could make: the incarnation is a great and wonderful mystery.

I was thinking about that class and the humanity of Jesus a couple months ago as we anticipated the Christmas season. It gave me pause to consider what we know of his human parents and the type of home where Jesus grew up as a little boy.  It made me wonder about Joseph and Mary’s parenting style!

As a mom, it isn’t difficult for me to consider the beginning of Mary’s life as a mother. I was enormously pregnant the one year our family was asked to light the Advent candle during the Christmas Eve service and as I waddled to the front of the church, I imagined Mary riding a donkey with a tummy as huge as my own!  Afterwards, many people came up to me and shared how real the reading of the Gospel of Luke had been to them that night, as well, how my “being with child” brought the humanity of Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus into clearer focus for them.

When I think of Mary, I think of her giving birth in a crude stable, caring for a tiny baby without older women to assist, of a woman who raised a little boy and then saw him become a man of miracles, eventually to die a criminal’s death while she looked on.  I often wonder how many times she cried out to God to give her wisdom and grace to be the mother of Jesus.

And I wonder if her own mom and dad were hand-on grandparents who babysat for Jesus and played outside with him on sunny days. I wonder how they responded to the Gospel message of their precious grandson and if they were there at Calvary. These are all things I have pondered in my heart as I think of my own family and wonder about the relationship Jesus had with his earthly family.

And what do we know of Joseph? Their marriage had a rocky start, that is for sure. Joseph knew that he had not fathered Mary’s child. He also knew that by law he could put her away, that is, divorce her, as a betrothal was considered as binding as a marriage at that time. He also could have turned her over to the authorities to be put to death by stoning, as fornication and adultery were punishable by death. He also could have taken her to court to sue her for her dowry and if he had paid any bride price for her, he could surely have been reimbursed. Her public shame could have been increased by the fact that he only needed to call on the elders or leaders in their village to assist him, making sure he got all that was coming to him and be sure his good name was cleared.

We are told that Joseph was a righteous man, that is, a man who knew the law, a man who loved and obeyed it. And yet Matthew 1:19 says “Because Joseph, her husband, was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”

The word disgrace in this context means “to show alongside to the public, to expose to infamy, to expose to open shame.” Joseph, because he was a righteous man, chose the opposite of disgrace, he chose to bestow grace on Mary. Disgrace equals shame which is the opposite of showing grace to another!

Doesn’t this give us insight into the type of household Jesus was raised in? His father was a righteous man, a man who practiced grace!

How often as a mom have I chosen the path of reigning down the law on my children? How often have I decided to “teach a lesson,” so to speak, when I had every right to do so? How often have I chosen punishment over grace? How often have I used various means to shame my kids into the behavior I want to see. And yet, we are told that Joseph was a righteous man because he chose the path of grace rather than the path of disgrace!

Lord, forgive me for the many, many times I have not behaved in a righteous manner with my children. Thank you for the infinite, amazing grace you extend to me! Give me wisdom to extend that same grace to them!

I recently bought a Pullman bread pan and let me tell you, I keep wondering where it has been all my life! After reading the Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day blog, I had been convinced that bread that is perfectly shaped for sandwiches and French toast, not to mention regular toast, was only a Pullman pan away. My pan arrived this week and here are the results! I used the basic Artisan in 5 recipe for whole wheat bread, though I had to substitute about half of the flour with white flour and cracked wheat because I hadn’t realized my pantry had gotten that low! That is golden flax seed sprinkled on top…delicious! You may now go back to your regular program!

For the past 10 years or so, I have made Clay a fabulous cheesecake as an anniversary dinner dessert. This year’s takes the, well, takes the cheesecake! Adapted from Mel’s recipe, here is this year’s deliciousness.  Trust me, it is fabulous!

Heath Bar Cookie Dough Cheesecake

Cookie dough:

½ cup softened butter

½ cup sugar

½ cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar

2 TBS milk (I used half and half)

1 TBS vanilla extract

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup toffee bits (or chopped Heath Bar) (will need 1 more cup for batter and more for garnish.)

Mix together and roll into small balls, about 1” in diameter.  Arrange on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and place in freezer for half an hour or so. At this point you will want to put on an episode of Downton Abbey, make a pot of tea, and start downing these babies. Try to resist.)

Crust

20 graham cracker squares, ground in food processor or smooshed into fine crumbs.

¼ cup melted butter

Mix together and press into bottom of spring form pan.

Cheesecake batter:

4 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened to room temperature

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

1 teaspoon all-purpose flour

1 TBS vanilla

1 cup sour cream

Cream together cream cheese and sugar; add one egg at a time, beating until fluffy.  Add flour, sour cream, and vanilla.

To assemble:

Pour half of cheesecake batter in pan on top of crust.  (Note: I do not bake my crust separately first because I think it tastes burnt.)

Fold in all the cookie dough balls and 1 more cup of toffee bits into the remaining batter and spread on top of batter in pan.

Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour.  Turn off oven and prop open door with a wooden spoon, allowing cheesecake to cool down in oven for about 30 minutes.  Remove from oven and place on wire rack to cool completely.  Chill in fridge for several hours (overnight is better) and remove from pan when ready to serve by running a sharp knife around outside of pan before unlatching. Top each slice with more toffee bits and prepare to have rose petals and maybe money thrown at your feet. It is seriously that awesomely delicious!  Makes 12 servings.

and the sparks are still flying!  Happy Anniversary, Clay.  I love you with all my heart!!!

Today marks the second anniversary of the death of precious little Lydia Schatz, murdered by her parents in the name of  “Biblical discipline.”  Devotees of Michael and Debi Pearl,  Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were homeschooling parents who believed they were being obedient to Scripture when they followed the steps recommended in To Train Up A Child for “spanking” their child.  Please take some time today and pray for these parents who are in prison and for her siblings who wear the scars of their own abuse along with their grief over the loss of their sister.  Take this time to pray for God’s grace to pour over the hearts of all parents, drawing them to Himself for wisdom as they nurture their own little ones. And ask the Lord to give you boldness in standing against those who would teach that beating a child in Jesus’ name is what loving Christian parents are supposed to do!

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” ~ Matthew 25:40

For a full listing of articles and links about Michael Pearl and others who hold to these teachings, type in “Michael Pearl” to the search engine at the top right of this website under the mast.