Monthly Archives: November 2010
I haven’t had much writing time the past week as our children and grandchildren have come in and out for the Thanksgiving holiday but I have been trying to keep up with some reading. If you still have any doubts about the authoritarianism that is rampant within patriocentric circles, both at home and within the church, check out Stacy McDonald’s new effort at promoting her paradigm. And then, for a few transparent words of encouragement from a real steadfast daughter, be sure to read what Alexis has to say about her own experiences within the system. Taunya, you are raising a lovely and compassionate daughter. I am especially moved by the testimony of what true relationship homeschooliong looks like! Thanks for inspiring us today!
Highlights from the 8th Annual Treasures of a Mother’s Heart retreat November 6, 2010, part three
This week’s podcast is this year’s drama entitled The Resume featuring homeschooling mom Gayla English and her daughters Stellera and Cora. Did you ever wondered what the monetary value of a homeschooing mom’s labor and expertise might be worth? Tune in to to find out!
Treasures of a Mother’s Heart Retreat 2010 – Part 2
Excerpts from the 8th Annual Treasures of a Mother’s Heart retreat November 6, 2010.
This week’s podcast features Jane Gestrine in a presentation about her childhood filled with good literature called “Treasures of a Child’s Heart.”
A few blocks from our home there is a park that borders a creek. The cool, dark woods along the walking trail beckons you to leave the paved path and venture into the hills on the other side, pulling you through the thicket until a shimmering blue lake takes you by surprise.
Some people wade across that creek but my boys always loved inching their way over a round cement culvert, one foot in front of the other, careful not to fall off and into what promised to be the snake haven below. I often think of the days when they were younger and came running in from hikes with dad, so excited about the treasures they brought home from “the other side.” They reenacted the “crossing” and they “balanced” on the wood floor of the kitchen; they were proud that they had been able to conquer their fears and had passed unharmed, keeping perfect balance. I have only seen their concrete bridge from the safe, level side of the creek but can imagine their outstretched arms as they carefully crossed over, victory in their grasp.
Many times I have thought of their hikes in the woods as I have pondered my own need for balance as a Christian. I live in the here and how, in the day to day, in the reality of a fallen world and yet my heart longs for “the other side,” hoping I can cross over safely, trying to keep myself steady as I wander through the temporal and on to the eternal. I live in this tension, desiring to live in both piety and in duty, which is what we are commanded to do. Sometimes I succeed, by God’s grace, other times I need a stiff reminder. And so it was last week.
In getting ready for the mom’s retreat and trying to decide what to wear, I pulled out several things from my closet, not really liking anything at all. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, one glace in the mirror told me my hair looked way too much like Rod Stewart’s after an all nighter. I needed Denise, the hair whisperer, so I made an appointment for the next day. And how relaxing it was! As my hands soaked for a manicure, I found myself daydreaming about how much I love going to the beauty shop and I was content that somehow my life would once again be rosy. I couldn’t wait to have my head shampooed and my scalp massaged, my cute bob once again bouncy and shiny.
“Denise, I just wanted to stop in to show you my hair,” said a voice over my shoulder.
“Wow, it’s looking great,” Denise replied, “Almost enough for a haircut one of these days!”
I turned around to see a sweet smiling woman running her fingers through the half inch of hair on her head.
“How are you feeling these days?” asked another woman.
Still beaming, she responded, “Great. And so glad to see my hair coming back in!”
What shame I felt. I had been fussing over my hair, what skirt to wear, how bad my nails looked and this dear woman had been thrilled to see new hair appear after chemotherapy!
Today I am thankful for a God who jolts me into reality when I need it, who gently but firmly guides me as I “cross over,” keeping me focused and balanced, giving me perspective, by His grace alone, reminding me that, while there is pleasure and delight in the here and now, what really matters is what is “on the other side!”
“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless His holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all His benefits….
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.”
~ from Psalm 103
Be sure to stop in and check out this month’s offerings. What fun it is to discover new blogs and new kindred spirits!
Shelly Roberts shares her thoughts on the sovereignty of God in this presentation entitled “The Father is Faithful.” This is the first in a series of podcasts from the 8th Annual Treasures of a Mother’s Heart Day of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms held on November 6, 2010 in Peoria, Illinois. Shelly tells her powerful personal story of redemption and healing in this testimony that every homeschooling mom should hear!
In the past few months since Hillary McFarland’s book Quivering Daughters: Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy was published, there has been surprisingly little discussion in the blog world or on websites where the patriocentrists typically gather. Early on, Stacy McDonald posted her nonreview of a book she hadn’t yet read. Following Stacy’s leadership, Kevin Swanson recorded a podcast renouncing the book which he obviously had not read either, making ridiculous charges such as “Hillary hates capitalism” and other such typical Swanson goofiness. I have been waiting for a serious review of this book from a patriarch wife and it looks like I needn’t wait any longer. In fact, not only is there a complete, not to mention extremely wordy and caustic review by Stacy McDonald, but there is also an entire website now given to refuting Hillary’s book! And not only can you read the opinions of Stacy at this site but also those of a few die hard patriarch wife friends, too.
However, the most interesting and telling response to Hillary from this camp is the survey that McDonald has sent out, as I understand it, to women who have left their patriocentric homes. A copy was sent to me by one of these women and I find it fascinating. It is unclear to me who actually received these, how they were targeted, when they were mailed out, and for what purpose. Take a look:
I am sending this letter to you because I am aware of your transition away from home. I do not know any of the details of why you left home, and I certainly do not presume to know anything about you or your family, or who was “more” at fault.
It is my sincere hope that by interviewing you, and other young women in your situation, we the Christian homeschooling community can begin to understand and deal with some of the real issues in our midst. In addition, perhaps we can be a bridge in the process of reconciliation.
If you are willing to answer the following questions, but you would prefer to remain anonymous, your name will be kept completely confidential. If you would rather be interviewed by phone, please reply with a phone number and the best time to talk. Thank you so much for considering my request.
1. How old are you and how long have you been living away from your family?
2. What were the circumstances of your departure?
3. Are you married? Did your parents approve of your marriage?
4. Do you have any significant, unresolved conflicts with your parents? Are you on speaking terms?
5. Do you have any children? If so, what are their ages?
6. What kind of church did you attend growing up? Was your church part of a denomination? If so, which one?
7. Would you say that your father was accountable to the authority of the local church?
8. Was your family involved in the community life of your church?
9. Would you say your mother or your father was the stronger leader in your home?
10. How many children were in your family? What number are you in age order?
11. Were you and your siblings required to help with chores? How do you feel this helped or harmed your work ethic?
12. Would you say that either of your parents was abusive? If so, how?
13. In what ways did your parents show you affection?
14. When you were upset, how did you share your feelings with your parents?
15. In what ways (if any) do you disagree theologically with your parents? When did this begin?
16. In what ways (if any) did you disagree with the lifestyle your parents lived? When did this begin?
17. Did you have a mentor or friend who helped you find a new place to live?
18. What type of church do you now attend? How is it different from the church you attended with your family?
19. Are you under any sort of official church discipline?
20. In your mind, what would it take to reconcile with your parents?
21. What are you willing to do to reconcile with your parents?
22. Did your family have close friendships outside of the family?
23. Did you parents/church teach you that salvation is in faith in Christ alone?
24. Did your family laugh and enjoy being together?
25. Have you ever read Quivering Daughters? If so, what did you think of it?
By His Grace,
It never ceases to amaze me how truly small this woman’s world must be and the lengths she will go to to prop up her paradigm, not to mention her book sales. Which brings me to another thought I had about her book review. She had no qualms whatsoever in interviewing Hillary’s sister and then putting the young woman’s thoughts on her new blog and also on a book review for Amazon without first consulting Hillary or allowing her to respond to the girl’s charges. And by the way, this is the same woman who has demanded, under threat of a lawsuit, that comments about the personal lives of her own family as related to her parenting philosophy be removed from my blog. I am truly in awe.