Congratulations to Lois Brown Loar, winner of the first book giveaway! So you will know, my son drew the name of the lucky winner! Lois, send me your snail mail address and the book will be on its way to you!

Please leave a comment on the post for this week’s podcast with Hillary for a chance to win another copy of this book this week! I will pick a winner on Friday evening.

Part two of my interview with Hillary McFarland as we discuss her book Quivering Daughters: Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy

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Hillary’s blog

to purchase Hillary’s book

This article blessed me so much because the patient was our daughter’s orchestra conductor when she first went to Bob Jones. What an amazing testimony of God’s goodness and grace!

I have “known” this blogger for a number of years, mostly through his association with my son-in-law. A pastor who is church planting in Indianapolis, his blog article from June 2, 2010 really touched my heart.

This will be another encouragement and challenge to you, I promise.

Lots of great creative ideas for healthy eating are on Michelle’s website. Enjoy!

We continue to celebrate family birthdays around here and these are too adorable not to pass along. Happy Birthday!!!

There are loads of creative ways to save money and run a household at the same time. Here is a wonderful blog full of ideas.

And finally, here is a real faith builder for your Tuesday afternoon. I know you will be blessed.

Every July, our local Toastmasters club welcomes the Canton Friendship Festival queen candidates to meetings that are specially planned to give them a quick course in impromptu public speaking. We look forward to these times and enjoy getting to know some of the young women who have been chosen to represent our town as ambassadors of friendship.

Last week my presentation of the evening centered around how to prepare to speak extemporaneously. Mark Twain once said that it takes about 3 weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech and that is what I told the girls. So I gave them formulas for answering questions in ways that could enable them to respond to even difficult topics and encouraged them to practice with each other and with family members until they felt comfortable being handed just about any query that came along. As I opened the floor for questions, one of the girls asked me “How do I respond to a question that is politically loaded? On one hand, it is important to consider the role of Friendship Queen but what if what I really believe could be divisive?”

It was at that moment that I realized I had in front of me a very teachable moment and I didn’t want to miss it. Here was my answer: Be true to yourself.

I went on to explain that the Friendship Festival pageant is only one evening in your life. Yes, there is scholarship money at stake and of course we all would prefer that everyone like us. But the truth of the matter is that, 20 or 30 or 50 years from now, when you look back on your life and you think about your question and answer session on that stage, you will be happier with that memory if your answer was true to your convictions rather than an answer that was given because you thought it was what someone else wanted to hear or one that could be in your own best economic interest.

I also shared with them that not being true to yourself in this situation could be the beginning of a life of compromises you will make that will lead you away from a life lived with integrity. To follow up, I suggested ways that they could answer difficult questions without compromising their convictions and at the same time graciously show respect for those who might disagree with them. I think it was helpful and I look forward to hearing how their nerve-wracking interviews turn out.

Interestingly, as I thought about that evening and those girls who are so eagerly preparing for the pageant, I looked over my own journaling and note taking during the past year and found the same reoccurring theme. We can take strong stands for all sorts of things but if we don’t do so with integrity, being true to ourselves while graciously speaking the truth in love, we are compromisers at best and hypocrites at worst. What someone sees in us MUST be what we truly are.

In the 4th podcast on patriarchy/patriocentricity, I talked about the hypocrisy of role playing and the fact that role playing is a type of bearing false witness. Any time we present ourselves as something we are not, we become compromisers or hypocrites. If someone else paints us out to be something we are not and we don’t correct the misperception, we are also dishonest. If we mess up and don’t admit it, we become the worst hypocrites of all!

Sadly, I have seen this too often within this movement. A person who has never passed a bar exam is lauded as a “legal scholar.” Another person who has no real credentials presents himself as “an expert in bioethics.” Men who are removed from their presbyteries wax eloquent about “authority,” demanding it of others. Still others take passages of Scripture out of context to support some manmade idea, and interpret it as “God’s non-optional principles.” And worst of all, parents expose their children to these terrible examples and damage their own credibility by doing so. The image, whether it is one of Friendship Festival Queen or mom and dad, becomes more important than being true to yourself and living a life of integrity based on what true Christianity really is.

In 1 Timothy 4, Paul instructs Timothy in the principles of true disciplemaking. After reminding him that he had been trained in both good doctrine based on faith, Paul admonishes the young leader to set an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity so that all those he was discipling could see his progress.

Our children and anyone else we minister to do not expect us to be perfect. In fact, if we pretend that we have it all together, they will know we are lying! But they do rightly expect to see progress, which means living lives of integrity that start with admitting when we fail and then doing something about it.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

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This week I continue my series on the subject of patriarchy/patriocentricity with my special guest, Hillary McFarland, author of the book Quivering Daughters: Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy. I will be giving away a copy of Hillary’s book each week so if you leave a comment, I will add your name to the drawing!

This Friday I will begin airing my podcast interview with Hillary McFarland, author of Quivering Daughters. Hillary and I spent a couple hours chatting a while back in anticipation of her book’s release and it was a time of fellowship and a time of much encouragement to me. Hillary loves the Lord and has such a heart for those who are struggling under the burden of spiritual abuse and I can’t wait for those of you who haven’t talked with her personally to hear her voice! As you listen, remember that her voice is also the voice of many many others. Please invite your friends and other homeschooling moms as well.

Since the Lord has placed on my heart the desire to encourage homeschooling moms, I am praying that those who hear this interview will be challenged to build good relationships with their daughters and sons and will truly examine their own hearts and lives. I have been so convicted myself in reading Hillary’s book and have been challenged in personal ways to be a better mom ever since I started reading her blog.

I am asking that anyone who supports the work that Hillary is doing to post a link to the podcasts with her along with a link to the entire series of podcasts on the patriarchy/patriocentricity movement if you are so inclined. I have discovered that word of mouth is the best way for this information to be shared. I trust that the Lord will continue to work in hearts.

Because I want to see this book get into the hands of as many homeschooling families as possible, I will be giving away a copy of Quivering Daughters each week during the podcasts with Hillary. To enter the contest to win one of these books, simply leave a comment on my blog on the podcast entry for that week. You are welcome to leave a comment each time and I will be drawing a winner each week on Friday evening. Knowing that this sensitive subject may call for someone to post anonymously, it is fine with me if you don’t share your real name. I will need a real e-mail, though, to contact you if you win and also a real snail mail address.

“Mercy is a command of God, yet it cannot simply be a response to a demand. It must arise out of hearts made generous and gracious by an understanding and experience of God’s mercy. It is the hearts of the congregation that must be melted until they ask, “Where is my neighbor?” ~ Tim Keller

Sofia has an interesting story to share, especially for anyone who might have been involved in Bill Gothard’s ATI program or Babywise or both.

Lewis has some great insight into the use of the phrases “Biblical” and “godly” when used in patriocentric teachings.

And, for those who insist that publicly challenging the teachings within the patriocentric world is wrong, check this out. Please read only if you have a sense of humor.

If this doesn’t move you, nothing will.

Kathy offers wonderful and wise advice on raising children.

Finally, someone is making a romantic comedy based on the real life of a homeschooling mom and cookbook author. How fun is this?

“Then he took him by the hand, and led him into a very large parlour that was full of dust, because never swept; the which after he had reviewed a little while, the Interpreter called for a man to sweep. Now when he began to sweep, the dust began so abundantly to fly about, that Christian had almost therewith been choaked.

Again, as thou sawest the Damsel sprinkle the room with Water, upon which it was cleansed with pleasure; this is to shew thee, that when the Gospel comes in the sweet and precious influences thereof to the heart, then I say, even as thou sawest the Damsel lay the dust by sprinkling the floor with Water, so is sin vanquished and subdued, and the soul made clean, through the faith of it, and consequently fit for the King of Glory to inhabit.”

~ from The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyon

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This week’s podcast reviews some of the books that are part of the “patriocentric curriculum” for women and their promotion of role-playing.

“She admonishes women to never be more intelligent than their husbands, to dummy themselves down if they must and to never offer an opinion on manly subjects like politics, current events, math or science. She reminds women that fathers own their children and that mothers, in spite of what the law says, do not. Therefore she might have to acquiesce to a husband’s methods of teaching and disciplining, while using feminine wiles rather than logic to persuade him to her way of thinking.”