Continuing in my series of podcasts featuring speakers from the Treasures of a Mother’s Heart Day of Encouragement, this week we hear the testimony of Corrie Marnett, homeschooling mom of 10 children, as she shares the many things the Lord has shown her about herself during her years of homeschooling. Listen here for this week’s podcast. You can also find Corrie blogging at www.pineapplepundit.blogspot.com, where she has recently been nominated for a Homeschool Blogger award!

This week, Robert Hale, also known as “Papa Pilgrim,” a“Christian” homeschooling father of 16 children, was found guilty of several counts of abuse, including sexual abuse of his daughters. A friend of mine, who lives near this man, described Hale this way: “A crazy religious authority figure who parades around as a conservative, Christian, homeschool dad, meanwhile threatening his children’s salvation if they ever speak out and tell anyone the truth.”

Look at these links:

google article

msnbc article

Seattle Times article

Corrie also had some great words to say about this today.

My first thought of doing a podcast came after listening to Kevin Swanson one day a year or so ago. I do not remember what his exact theme was for the day or who his guest was, but I do remember thinking that any attempts at encouraging any real moms I knew were being thwarted by his hyperbole and tone. I offhandedly remarked to Clay about this and then forgot about it in the midst of Thanksgiving and Christmas activities. That all changed when, on Christmas morning, I opened Clay’s present to me…a microphone and the promise of a podcast.

When Clay and I first seriously talked about the idea of producing a podcast, we talked about our goals and objectives, the intended target audience, and the importance of setting standards for what would be discussed and who I would interview. We determined from the beginning that a podcast would serve as an encouragement to real homeschooling moms who are often discouraged by the paradigms that too frequently are promoted within homeschooling circles today. We knew that a fresh voice needed to be heard and that original ideas needed to be given a hearing. We also knew that the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the atoning work of God’s grace must be a central theme for anything we would produce.

To that end and in order to maintain the standards we established as well as meeting my personal goals for this podcast, I am declining the request from Stacy McDonald that she and Jennie Chancey be guests on a thatmom podcast.

It is my firm belief that those within the patriocentric camp have gone unchallenged in their teachings within the homeschooling community for far too long and their influence has spread to such proportions that they hold sway over the majority of state homeschooling organizations.. Over the past 10 years I have watched as they have been the keynote speakers at homeschooling conventions from coast to coast, have published magazines, have given rise to Kevin Swanson and his popular broadcasts on homeschooling, have written books that are published through their own publishing companies, and now are being promoted through HSLDA’s endorsement of Vision Forum and the Passionate Housewives book. Though they do not represent the views of the majority of homeschoolers, for the most part, theirs has been the lone voice. But that is no longer the case. One by one, blog by blog, website by website, their views are being challenged and held up to the light of Scripture. This is not slander, gossip, or libel. It is Christian men and women who are no longer content with watching as Scripture is misused, families are destroyed, women are belittled, and awesome, Godly fathers are stuffed into molds that are not commanded in the Word of God.

While there are still those who maintain that there are “misunderstandings” regarding the Passionate Housewives book or the teachings of the Botkins and other patriocentric teachers, I believe that, in fact, there are no misunderstandings whatsoever. What I do believe is that there are inconsistencies and contradictory statements that need clarification and to that end I would like to make this challenge.

Several regular readers of this blog and of the True Womanhood blog have contacted Stacy privately and asked her questions or have sought to ask questions on her blog or her husband’s blog, but have not had their comments approved. In fact, some have been banned from posting there altogether. I, too have asked questions and am still waiting to have them answered. So, to that end, I will be posting a list of those questions on this blog and, because I do not filter comments (though I will removed nasty, personal, snarky remarks, so beware) Stacy will have the opportunity to answer them for us. I would also ask that, since she is anxious to have these things publicly clarified, that as she answers these questions, she place a link on her blog to this sight so not only my readers can know the questions and answers, but hers can as well.

I look forward to this dialog and hope to place some of these questions up within a day or two.

“If there is one time more than another when children ought to hear only loving words from their parents, and be helped to feel that theirs is a home of love and gladness, it is when they are going to bed at night.  Good-night words to a child ought to be the best of words, as they are words of great potency.  Yet not every parent realizes this important truth, nor does every child have the benefit of it.”

H.  Clay Trumball

December 7 ~ My own presentation from the Treasure of a Mother’s Heart conference on November 3rd. I shared with the moms the difference between a woman’s purpose, her calling, and her role and the necessity of discerning which things remain the same throughout life and which things change. I have called this Mom on a Mission.

December 14 ~ Part 2 of Mom on a Mission, understanding purpose, calling, and role.

December 21 ~ Corrine Marnett joins me to  review the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.

December 28 ~ Corrie returns as we conclude our personal comments regarding the Passionate Housewives book.

“encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it” Titus 1:9

In the past few weeks, I have repeatedly been reading online about gossip and slander. I would heartily agree that real slander, gossip, and libel against our neighbor is a violation of the 2nd great commandment. However, the implication has been that critiques, debates, and discussions are really acts of slander, libel, and gossip, particularly when addressing patriocentricity. (see the comments on my Amazon review of the Passionate Housewives book for a prime example of this.) Several times I have been personally (and have seen others as well) admonished to go to those with whom I disagree and begin a Matthew 18 process with them. I have been asked numerous times if I did that with any of those whom I have critiqued and if I have discussed my differences with them, seeking reconciliation.

This has been a strange suggestion to me, since what I have always understood that passage of Scripture to mean is that when another brother or sister in Christ has sinned against you, you are to go to them and tell them how they did so, hoping that they will confess that sin and make it right with you. I have been on both ends of that experience and always thought I understood it well. But, wanting to maintain a teachable spirit, and being really confused when I heard these admonitions, I went to my husband who shared a passage of Scripture with me and suggested I research this topic. The fruits of that research were so good that I wanted to share them with you. I know this is long for a blog entry, but I believe it is so important that it must be said.

I began by looking at Matthew 18: 15-17, which is the passage in reference. It says:

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

If you read this passage and look at the end result for the one who is not repentant of the committed sin, it is damnation. So, you would need to be certain that the person you are confronting in a Matthew 18 process 1) is a believer 2) is in a relationship with you 3) has sinned against you in a personal way and 4) that you are willing to take the matter all the way through to the excommunication process, which also implies church courts, written documentation proving sin, etc. (the ramifications of this and the procedures themselves differ among various denominations).

This is a very serious matter and as such, the offense involved must also be serious as well. It must be named as an actual sin in Scripture and you must be able to open your Bible and show them a sin they have committed against you. Just because someone has offended you does not mean that that person has sinned against you, no matter how angry they have made you. It does not mean that you can read their hearts, their motives, or assign sin to them, allowing feelings about them as a person to override the truth of God’s Word. And the sin must be worthy of taking all the way to the end process if necessary.

So, after I confirmed what I had known about the Matthew 18 process, I listened as my husband read Galatians 2 to me and suddenly I understood the confusion and the problem. Here is what he read:

“Fourteen years later I went up again to Jerusalem, this time with Barnabas. I took Titus along also. I went in response to a revelation and set before them the gospel that I preach among the Gentiles. But I did this privately to those who seemed to be leaders, for fear that I was running or had run my race in vain. Yet not even Titus, who was with me, was compelled to be circumcised, even though he was a Greek. This matter arose because some false brothers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves. We did not give in to them for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might remain with you. As for those who seemed to be important–whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance–those men added nothing to my message. On the contrary, they saw that I had been entrusted with the task of preaching the gospel to the Gentiles, just as Peter had been to the Jews. For God, who was at work in the ministry of Peter as an apostle to the Jews, was also at work in my ministry as an apostle to the Gentiles. James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews. All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs? “We who are Jews by birth and not ‘Gentile sinners’ know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified. “If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners, does that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! If I rebuild what I destroyed, I prove that I am a lawbreaker. For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”

In this portion of Scripture, Paul approaches Peter and, in an act that would certainly be called slander and gossip and libel had he done so on a blog, opposed him in front of them all! And then, of course, he later told people all about it, in fact, the Holy Spirit continues to tell all believers everywhere that Paul did this, because it is written in the holy writ via a letter to the Galatians, God’s warning and an example to all of us!

You see, Peter was a public figure and one who had great influence. Paul knew that he had to make a public statement for three reasons: First, Peter, because of his influence, was leading many astray. Because Peter’s ministry was public, Paul’s rebuke also had to be public.

Secondly, Peter was teaching the gospel plus Jewish tradition. Rather than instructing the Jews that their personal system was of no value to them, Peter was teaching legalism, rendering the Gospel of grace ineffective.

Thirdly, Paul recognized that many people who desperately needed Jesus were seeing Peter’s hypocrisy. Peter was, in essence, saying “do as I say not as I do” and Paul called him on it. I think, on one level, Paul even had to have been terribly embarrassed for Peter.

And this brings us full circle to the reason why understanding the differences between applying Matthew 18 and Galatians 2 is so crucial within the homeschooling community. You see, those who are currently raising the subject of “online gossip and slander” of late are within the patriocentric camp. They know that they cannot win their debate in the arena of public discussion. They think if they can make a case for privately talking, one on one, where they can say anything they want, free from public accountability, they can continue to teach what they teach. Those of us who are challenging these teachings MUST keep the discussion within the sphere of public discourse, where each and every word can be seen and heard.

I believe this quote from Dr. Jay Adams, in his volume “Grist from Adams’s Mill”, addresses this illegitimate use of Matthew 18 in an attempt to censure public criticism:

“Any Christian who sets himself up as a teacher in the church of Christ and publicly teaches anything thereby opens himself up for criticism by others (cf. James 3:1). If they think what he is teaching is harmful to the church, they have an obligation to point it out just as widely as it was taught. Such public warning or debate on the topic should not be considered a personal attack at all. The teacher’s plea that a critic should first have come to him about his disagreement on the basis of Matthew 18:15 does not hold. This passage has to do with personal wrongs known only between the two, who should privately discuss the matter that separates them. What a critic of a public teaching does in pointing out his disagreement with that teaching has nothing to do with personal affronts or lack of reconciliation; he is simply disagreeing at the same public level as that on which the teaching was given in the first place” (pg. 69).

I would encourage you to continue to hold fast to the truth of the Gospel message in this day when patriocentricity is worming its way into the church of Jesus Christ. Be a Berean and do not grow weary of well doing!

This week’s podcast features more highlights from the Treasures of a Mother’s Heart Day of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms that was held on November 3rd in Central Illinois. This testimony is by Nicole Green from the Homefires Christian Homeschooling Support Group in Danville, Illinois. Nicole is married to her best friend, Damon, and they have three young children. Though Nicole is only in her 3rd year of homeschooling, she has gleaned more wisdom from the Lord than many of us have learned in decades! I know you will enjoy listening to Nicole and will be encouraged by her honest insights.

from my family to yours this wonderful Thanksgiving Day.

May the Lord bless you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Goodbye Pumpkin Pie

by Howard D.Fencl

Year after year after year
I go crazy!
Every Thanksgiving
I sit with the babies!

It’s the little kids’ table;
The table for tots,
Where my mom makes me sit
If I like it or not.

The table for grown-ups
Is fit for a king,
With goblets
And giblets
And gold napkin rings,

And bread rolls and salad
And dressing with drippings,
One glass just for drinking,
And one just for sipping!

But here all the kids
Drink from Styrofoam cups,
We eat small turkey bits
That our moms have cut up.

Our plates are red plastic
And so are the spoons,
And we eat by ourselves
In a small dining room.

I have dozens of cousins
Age one and age two
Whose Thanksgiving feast
Is a greenish-brown goo.

They slop up their faces
With vegetable mashes
And after they drink
They all have
Milk mustaches.

They urp,
And they burp,
And they belch
And they gulp;
Oh, why can’t I sit
At the feast for adults?

All the mooshing
And mashing
And smooshing
And gnashing!
I put down my fork
And I thought about fasting!

I’d never eat turkey
Again in my life!
Never pick up a fork!
Never pick up a knife!

I’d fast like a mountain-top
Indian swami;
I wouldn’t touch mustard
Or bread
Or salami!

“I’ll never eat mushrooms
“Or green beans
“Or squid!
“And I NEVER will eat
“At the table for kids!”

“What’s wrong?” asked my mom,
She was pouring some drinks;
“You haven’t touched dinner…
“Not one single thing!”

She straightened the napkin
Tucked under my chin,
She gave me a hug
As she pushed my chair in,

She cut up my turkey bits
Two sizes smaller,
She held up my glass,
“Have a sip of some water!”

She dished up a spoon
Of potatoes and gravy;
My mom tried to feed me
Like I was a baby!

Well, my face turned as red
As the rhubarb pie filling!
I quick turned away,
And my cup went a-spilling!

BOOSH!
Water splashed on
Mom’s face and her hair,
And it looked like some gravy
Was mixed up in there,

Because polka dots spotted
My mom’s bright white dress!
Her Thanksgiving suit
Was a gravy-brown mess!

I should’ve said “Sorry!”
I should’ve said “Oops!”
I should’ve helped mom
Wipe the gravy-brown goop.

What happened instead
Is a mystery, my friends.
But there’s one thing for sure- – -
I won’t do it again!

I opened my mouth- – -
Do you know what I did?
I sassed my mom back
Like a spoiled snotty kid.

“I can use my own fork!
“I can use my own knife!
“And I don’t want to sit
“At the table for tikes!”

“I can’t stand all the gunk!
“I can’t stand all the gak!
“I won’t watch little Timothy
“Eating like that!”

“He’s got yams in his hair,
“He’s got yams North and South,
“And there’s food everywhere
“But inside of his mouth!”

“Then there’s Sarah and Icky
“And Jimmy and Franz
“Mixing peas in their milk!
“Eating with their bare hands!”

“This is NOT what the Pilgrims
“And Indians did,
“I DON’T WANT TO SIT HERE
“AT THE TABLE FOR KIDS!!”

Then mom said,
“I think your Thanksgiving’s all through,
“And I think that it’s time
“You go up to your room.”

“In my ROOM?!” my brain thought,
This just couldn’t be true!
In my ROOM?!
Why,
WHY,
WHY??
What on earth did I do??

My tummy got grumbly,
My feet both felt stumbly,
I wanted to shout,
But my mouth was all mumbly.

I walked past the turkey,
The dressing and trimmings,
My feast was now ending
Before its beginning.

“Goodbye, pumpkin pie!”
I said, as I walked by it,
“So long, green bean bake!”
Though I never would try it,

“Farewell, acorn squash,
“And potatoes au gratin!
“Ta-ta, apple tart
“With your whip-creamy topping!”

I sat all alone
On my bed feeling hungry.
It felt like I had
A stone knot in my tummy.

I could still hear
The forks and the knives and the spoons
Clacking and clinking
And scraping up food;

My sniffer sniffed smells
Drifting up from afar,
And on Thanksgiving Day
I was sure I would starve!

So I played with my toys
Then I sang a few numbers,
I stood on my head
To get rid of this hunger,

Then somersaults,
Push-ups,
I played tiddly-winks,
But Thanksgiving turkey
Was all I could think!

My belly growled out
Like a great grizzly bear,
And I knew,
Pretty soon,
I’d need something down there!

Anything,
ANYTHING!
Liver, or beets!
Even heaps of
Hungarian pickled pigs’ feet!

“I’ll eat wood like a termite!
“Or flies like a frog!
“I’ll chew catnip like kitties!
“Or shoes like a dog!”

I was just about ready
To snack on my hat,
When I heard someone knocking,
RAT-TAT-A-TAT-TAT!

It was mom with a plate
Piled high with a feast,
And it didn’t seem that she was mad
In the least.

She set up a TV tray
Right by my bed,
And she gave me a kiss
On the top of my head.

“You’re growing up fast,”
She said, hiding a tear,
“Won’t you join the adults
“For Thanksgiving next year?”

The End

© 1992 Howard D. Fencl, at www. dads.com, used by permission.

We love to watch holiday movies, especially while writing Christmas cards or working on handmade gifts. Any suggestions to add to our list?

Hands down, the most discouraging aspect of life, to me, is when we have been busy and the house gets cluttered. I have always longed to be one of those “place for everything and everything in its place” sort of people but this is more difficult the more people you have under one roof. Add to that the delight I find in reading not one but several books at one time, sticky flags and note cards piled high near a steaming cup of tea, and then include my craft projects, all on top of homeschooling mess, and, well, you get the picture.

While I have a desire to simplify my life, and have taken some pretty good steps toward doing that, the holidays bring their own set of clutter and chaos that add to holiday depression by default. Since our married children live so far away, when they are here during the holidays, I do not want to spend time doing the necessary housework when I could be playing with a grand baby. So, keeping ahead of the game is the solution that I have found works best for me. When I follow through on that plan and the house stays fairly tidy, I am not as prone to discouragement which can lead to depression.

A few things I have found that help are these:

1. I try to not allow any necessary chores to lag behind during the excitement of holiday activities. Since my laundry room is in the basement, “out of sight, out of mind” can too often rule the day. I have been trying to stay ahead of any laundry that needs to be done, being fully caught up right before company arrives. That way, if I have to go a couple days, it won’t cause anyone to be screaming “I am out of underwear” while guests are here!

2. I sit down right after Thanksgiving and plan a menu for the Christmas weeks. I start baking cookies, breakfast muffins, and quick breads and freeze them. In large disposable foil pans, I prepare family favorites like lasagna, chicken tetrazzini and homemade soups, labeling and freezing them, too. The week before Christmas, I make several cheese balls and wrap them in foil for late night snacking along with the large tray of summer sausage Aunt Ruth and Uncle Don typically send our direction! A couple days before the first company arrives, I dejunk the fridge and fill it with salad fixings, yogurt, and deli sandwich supplies, including Kosher dills and good mustards. I have large jars on my counter filled with a variety of cereals and homemade granola. I place baskets filled with a variety of teas and hot chocolate mixes on the counter next to a stack of holiday mugs, along with flavored creamers for coffee. All these things make it simple for moms to feed their little ones when they need to eat and allows for little time in the kitchen for me when I would rather spend it with my family. Since no one gets up at the same time, breakfast is also simple and easily prepared. And, of course, the cookies and quick breads are emptied from the freezer daily! Since I came upon these tricks, there is much less kitchen time for everyone.

3. In years past, we have tried to complete our Christmas shopping early, aside from my husband’s famous Christmas Eve stocking stuffer hunt, which he loves so I refrain from commenting and have learned to work around. When catalogs start arriving in September, I save ones that have interesting, educational items for kids and usually will shop from them online. They often offer days of free shipping, which is always nice if you need to buy gifts to send far away. This year we have drawn names among the children and their spouses, all of us only buying gifts for the little ones. The last few years, it took us all so long to open presents on Christmas morning that we needed to have a different plan. I am actually quite excited this year and because it gives each person just one person to consider, I think the thoughtfulness with the gifts this year will be really special. Since over spending at Christmas can lead to a lot of frustration and depression when the bills come in January, having a budget and staying within it can be a life saver.

4. Usually Clay and I are in bed before any of the children are these days, so I use the early morning hours to tidy up the house, keeping clutter at bay, and cleaning bathrooms, etc. It feels good to greet everyone with these chores done, especially guests.

5. My husband usually saves personal days and vacation time to take during the Christmas holidays and we look forward to this all year. We do not schedule a lot of activities during December but do like to invite friends and family in for dinner and board games and we love attending a Christmas concert or two, our favorite being the Bethany Christmas concert at our church each year. The last few years, since we have added daughters-in-law to the family, I like to schedule a time to take just the girls to lunch or a girl movie with whomever is here. Clay likes to do an outing with the guys, too, and we also like to take just grandchildren somewhere so the siblings can have a great visit while we spoil the little ones! By not filling the holidays with too much stuff or too many events, we are all able to enjoy real time and real conversation, which means making real memories.

6. Family traditions can trigger many of the things that bring back memories that are painful. While I believe traditions are good, we also need to be creating new traditions. If you or your husband grew up in a difficult home, this is particularly important. As you grow together as a couple and you raise your own family, there is an organic nature to what you will do regarding Christmas. Your own traditions will come about naturally as you all serve one another. You also have to remember that one of your goals is to establish a pattern for your own children so they will do the same when they are in their own households. Clay and I spent 3 Christmases and Thanksgivings in Germany with no extended family and it was a wonderful time for us to establish our own traditions. I can remember being so blessed when I got a letter from my mom and dad one year, telling me about their trip alone to the Christmas tree farm. While it was a little bittersweet to read, it also blessed me to know that the two of them were still a family!

7. And, above all, Christmas is a time to reflect on the relationship we have with Jesus Christ. What meaning is there to family or Christmas celebrations without contemplating the wonder of the manger and the power of the cross? A few years ago I bought a Little People nativity set and placed it on the coffee table so I could have those conversations with little ones. Keeping a continual song in our hearts can be done by having continuous Christ-centered music playing in our homes during the holidays.

I would love to hear what others do to make the Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays a time of blessedness and encouragement.