september 21 podcast
“I have observed, as have many other women who are critics of this movement, that women are the ones who are really behind the patriocentricity movement. I really related to your reference to the movie the Stepford Wives because I believe it is an appropriate one….As the movie comes to a close, she is holding the husband robot head in her hand and muttering “all I wanted was a perfect community, a wholesome place.” I think this is very much like those in the patriocentric circles. These women want a guaranteed paradigm in which to raise their children and they believe these extreme forms of patriarchy will produce that.” Listen here to this week’s podcast from my continuing series on patriarchy and patriocentricity entitled “Interview with Don Veinot, Part 2.”
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Join me on an adventure as we study through Chuck Swindoll’s book The Grace Awakening. Each Monday I will post some thoughts from a portion of the book and we will discuss them in the comment section, making special application for moms. (Dads and singles are welcome to join us, too!) You can purchase a copy of the book (there are lots of used copies available via Amazon) or it is also available on audio. I don’t want you to feel like you have to read along to join in the discussion; I want this to be as stress free as possible. But I know you will enjoy the book if you read it……understanding and embracing grace is life changing and many have found this book to be a great encouragement after coming through paradigm based ministries, including some homeschooling groups. Please invite your friends, I know you will be blessed!!! We will be starting on July 23rd!
Pros and Cons of the Family Integrated Church
an open letter to my brothers and sister in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families
Simple Thoughts for Building Your Marriage in the Midst of Homeschooling
A Little Perspective On What Matters
Being Pro-Life in the Grocery Store
Discerning True and False Teachers
The "Yes" Face
Nurturing Our Children for the Glory of God
- I Am My Child’s Friend
- HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- some more thoughts on complementarianism
- the passing of my mom
- welcome to the world little Odette
- keeping those marriage sparks flying, part two
- keeping those marriage sparks flying, part one
- podcast interview with Seth Gruber, part three
- How do you find a church home?
- podcast interview with Seth Gruber, part two
- podcast interview with Seth Gruber, part one
- Church Shopping
- podcast with Meg Moseley and When Sparrows Fall, part two
- podcast with Meg Moseley and When Sparrows Fall, part one
- Kitty Genovese Christians
- Granddad on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- kh on I Am My Child’s Friend
- Thinking About This on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- Granddad on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- Thinking About This on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- Laura (old OR vintage) on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- Granddad on I Am My Child’s Friend
- thatmom on I Am My Child’s Friend
- thatmom on I Am My Child’s Friend
- heather on I Am My Child’s Friend
- Thinking About This on HSLDA accused of turning blind eye to child abuse: you decide
- kh on I Am My Child’s Friend
- Laura (old OR vintage) on I Am My Child’s Friend
- Granddad on I Am My Child’s Friend
- kh on I Am My Child’s Friend
1.We must acknowledge that we are all sinners. “For we are all become as one that is unclean, and all our righteousnesses are as a polluted garment: and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. (Isaiah 64:6) and “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
2.We are all accountable for our own sins before God. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Corinthians 5:10)
3.There is only one way to be forgiven of these sins and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ. “Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
4.If we confess our sin to the Lord and repent of it (not allow it to rule in our lives) we can be forgiven and be in right standing with God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousenss.” (1 John 1:9)
5.Genuine salvation will result in living lives of good works but none of those works contribute in any way to our standing before God which is based solely and completely on the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. “But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat down at the right hand of God. (Hebrews 10:12) and “Not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to His mercy He saved us by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Spirit. (Titus 3:5) and “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8)
6.We all, men and women, boys and girls, have direct access to the throne of grace because everyone who is a born-again believer in Jesus Christ is called a “priest and king” in God’s economy. “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (I Peter 2:9)
I believe that many of the false teachings within the patriocentric movement are in direct contrast to these Scriptures and I would encourage each of us to first examine what we believe about Jesus and His work on the cross, its implications and its marvelous power.
Secondly, I would challenge anyone reading here to examine your own heart and ask yourself whether you have been trusting in good works….baptism, homeschooling, church attendance, modest dress, the list goes on and on, or if you have placed ALL your faith and hope in Jesus’ blood and righteousness alone.
And finally, I would challenge you to examine the teachings within your own church system, whether it is Protestant, Greek Orthodox, Roman Catholic, etc. Ask yourself what your church teaches about ecclesiastical authority and family authority. Does it line up with the Word of God? It is a top down system that requires certain works in exchange for a relationship with Jesus Christ or do you have the assurance that you are saved for eternity by His death on the cross in your stead? Does it teach that the fruits of the spirit and obedience to all the one anothers is what our lives will demonstrate or is there a list of man made rules?
If you desire to talk with me about this, please send me a note to shesthatmom@gmail.com. My desire is that no one who visits this website will leave without knowing the glorious truth that we can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and can enjoy a life filled with His goodness and grace!


Thanks for another great podcast, Karen.
Although a portion of the discussion was disturbing (grown women in counseling without any liberty to leave home), it was a great blessing to hear both of you laugh.
From the withdrawal from secular culture, this week seemed to highlight some of the neotribalism characteristic of patriocentricity, with mention of the plumb line of patriarchial praxy. It is not enough to be Christian and set apart from things secular, but the movement sees the need to be apart from the rest of the body. I don’t understand the varied range of passionate anger so prevalent in the movement, especially directed at Christian brethren. There have been online references to “Christian cannibalism” this past week, citing that those who oppose patriarchy are devouring their own brethren, yet these enlightened others may devour whomever they want. Just who was it that pulled out the plumb bob?
It’s funny, but I now realize that along with little reference to the woman of virtue in Proverbs 31 that I barely recall any discussion of the constrasts between Mary and Martha in my Gothardesque group. Though I’m not surprised, it’s sad to hear that this Gospel account has been refined to reverse the virtues of Martha and Mary.
I’m looking forward to hearing Spunky next week!
God bless you for your efforts.
Cindy, you are exactly right to point out who the
plumb line droppers” actually are in this discussion. I find it ludicrous when those who promote, for example, the Botkin sisters’ book and who make an income promoting these lifestyles and peddling patriocentric products, cry out “why can’t the brethren dwell together in unity?” Is there anyone with any discernment who can’t see through these wolf crying episodes?
I, too, am looking forward to the discussions in the next few weeks with Spunky as we examine the consequences for the husband and wife relationship that hyperpatriarchy brings about.
By the way, Cindy, what have you observed about the women of patriarchy? Do you, as I do, see them in a mover and shaker capacity behind the scenes?
The women of patriarchy…
They are an interesting bunch. I wouldn’t describe them as “movers and shakers” in my experience but more like Pharisee Saul when he is described as like unto a wild animal raking justice. I observed some complete personality changes within an instant when certain elders and pastors wives were called on to exact discipline or reign others into compliance with the group. I admit that I did think of Ahab and his wife after these occasions (although, I don’t believe that I was labeled a Jezebel myself nor was I accused of “wearing the pants”). For some of these women, there is but a breath between sugar sweet and militant. The Glenn Close character in the recent remake of “The Stepford Wives” is quite a good image. The pretense portrayed in the film is very applicable, too.
My group relished the nostalgia of the ’50s quite strongly, so the Donna Reed ideal reigned well there. Some women in leadership (elder’s wives) were not as good at it if they were younger, but the ones who had mastered the personna were excellent at their duties. That was quite appealing to me as my parents were not much older than most of the church leadership. We were under the impression that the elders could interviene with husbands on behalf of women, but often, this resulted in scrutiny and blaming of the wife for her pains of seeking help and support. But while the utopian illusion of good men protecting wives remained intact, it was definitely a selling point. Your comment in the September 14th podcast about wanting to stay in the tent with Jesus and the disciples was very reminiscent of this. I’ve thought of it many times this week.
I’ve put a great deal of distance between these more militant patriocentric women since my departure from that group ten years ago, and things have become far more polar and extreme. A new breed has definitely emerged over recent years. I appreciate your comments that state that you can’t win for losing with this crowd, as I lack many of the external markers for compliance. You have all of them and are also a “white washed feminist.” Rejection of the package makes one desperately and utterly unworthy of grace and sometimes the title of “Christian”. (This, of course, smacks of the thought reform practice of the “dispensing of existence.” The ladies of patriarchy are very well rehearsed at this in my experience.)
iI is interesting that you mention the 50′s. I am currently reading the book The Girls Who Went Away, an interesting study on the women who placed their children for adoption in the 50′s and 60′s. Since I am adopted and my birth mother was in a home for unwed mothers, it has been a fascinating read on a personal level.
One of the themes that has run throughout the book has been that of the culture of the 50′s and the surreal time it was. When daughters became pregnant outside of wedlock, they were treated as though they didn’t even exist and were usually sent away. (denial) The fathers of the babies had no punishment at all. The sin was only the girl’s sin. As I have read, and grieved for my own birth mother and all she must have experienced during those months of confinement, it has been interesting to read the first hand accounts of life during that era that was depicted as so idyllic on those old TV shows and that, to some women today, is longed for so nostalgically. The women were treated as though they had such little purpose in life, though they had very clearly defined roles. The relationships were superficial, with the dad not really being too involved with the children. (that was seen as part of mom’s role, though the important stuff like education was left to the government.) and keeping up appearances for the sake of the paradigm was of the utmost importance. Of course I am generalizing but this theme runs throughout the whole book and it isn’t the first time I have read or observed such.
No era in history should be held up as the ideal one, though i think women tend to do that more than men do. We must learn to be content with the time in history in which we are placed and seek to minister to others through our culture, rising above it, not becoming so other-era centered that we lose sight of our callings today.
We must learn to be content with the time in history in which we are placed and seek to minister to others through our culture, rising above it, not becoming so other-era centered that we lose sight of our callings today.
That is so true! “You glorify the past when the future dries up,” as Bono puts it. Christians need to stop idolizing the supposed “good old days” of the 50s, the Victorian era, and other historical periods (which were actually rather oppressive for many people) and do what we are called to do right now in this present age.
I liked the podcast and would be interested in hearing more about the supposed reasoning behind the Mary and Martha flip that you mentioned. I really can’t imagine how anyone could turn that around!
I’ve always believed that the patriarch movement was a “man’s thing” but after the podcast today I realized that while I was totally into it, my husband never was. (!)
I’m blushing as I admit this, but I used to subscribe to Patriarch magazine for MYSELF. My dh never read it! How embarrassing is THAT to admit??!
With your reference to the idealism of the 50′s-guilty as charged. I do still long for the old-fashioned days when America truly did embrace, on a wide social scale, the teachings of christianity. Our country really was much more moral and virtuous than today. I bury myself in books, such as the ones by Jane Austen and Laura Ingalls Wilder, for example, because I try to lose myself in their charm and security.
I did embrace the early teachings of patriarchy that began in the 90′s because I loved and wanted what they represented. I can see how women could be seen as being behind the scenes, wanting that security and virtue in their homes. You do think that if you keep your children from the world as much as possible that they will be protected and safe and will turn out alright. You actually believe there’s a guarantee there somewhere.
Let’s not forget, though, how much the men stand to gain by the patriarchy movement. Submissive wives, total control over their families, many children to make them look virile (lol), and feeling like a king in their homes. What an ego booster.
So, I think that men and women both embrace the teachings and the movement but for different reasons.
Can’t wait to hear Spunky’s voice-I sure do miss her blog.
A great podcast Karen-thanks again for putting these together.
Praise God that He knew just exactly who’s womb to place each and every baby, that our times are in His hands, that we are all called into the kingdom for such as a time that we find ourselves and that we are all created unto good works prepared in advance for us to do! Rejoice for the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. He upholds us with the righteousness of His right hand. All glory, honor and power be unto Him.
God, see us through this rise of patriocentricity and open our eyes to discern Your will for our actions and responses. Bring us into true unity of the faith in You and not by way of the means of men. We look to you with confidence and great anticipation, expecting Your perfect work in all of us, Your children. Amen .
Amen Cindy!!! And bless Providence they don’t have the civil authority to enforce their wishes on the rest of us as they did in 17th century New England. I’m sure many of us would wind up flogged , hanged, pressed to death and burned as “heretics” for not believing as they say we must.
Amen Cindy!
I believe that although a yearning for the perceived ‘virtues and ideals’ of the fifties leads some, there is something else at the core of many women’s interest in the patriarchy movement. I think some women are drawn by the lack of accountability. If the father is the one in control of all, the mother will find herself free from fault if her children turn rebellious, or even if they are less than successful. We, as women, easily find fault with ourselves when it comes to the rise of fall of our children’s success. How liberating some must find it to be able to ‘pass the blame’.
Oddly, I found a great price on a DVD of “Macbeth” (with Sir Ian and Dame Judy from ’76) last night. Although I find a great deal more of support for “patriarchy” in “Hamlet” (more than kin and a little less than kind…), after ruminating on concept of women actually motivating much of patriarchy, I could barely wait to post this. The concept of pushing your man to get ahead is a theme far older than Shakespeare. How unexpectedly ironic.
As a parallel, liberty in Christ gets usurped from power in favor of patriocentricity? Authority beyond this world has ordained that Macbeth be king, so some of the questionable means to achive the inevitable and ordained end can be (temporarily) justified? In the final end, both King patriarch and Lady Macbeth, loving wife, bear culpability? And it all boils down to deception and unnatural knowledge?
How weird.
Shauna,
I will comment a little on the Mary Martha discussion. A pastor I once knew was expressing his disgust his denomination’s PCA) encouragement of women studying in seminaries. (apparently, even having theological training, whether or not you use it within the church, is a “bad thing” to some patriocentrics.) He was trying to make a case that women who choose to be homemakers today are the ones that Jesus would commend, rather than those who studied theology. For the record, this discussion took place on the Bayly blog a view years ago and this is the same pastor who wrote a “Catechism for Women” on his own blog.
Cindy, Natalie, Greg, I need to be reminded that God is in control of these things, as it often become frustrating to even try to engage in conversations, even if online, with those who are so certain that they are the keepers of the “presuppositional” truth when it comes to these matters of liberty. Thanks for the reminder.
Hey, I was just reminding myself!
Thatmom,
I really enjoyed listening to you and Don talk about this issue. The points you both made are worthy of consideration. Thank you for taking this on.
I believe the Stepford Wife analogy to be a good one. There are many women who lead their husbands into patriarchy when the husbands would just as soon have remained where there were. Things were fine, they liked it that way, but they want to please their wife so they follow her.
Remaining in that system requires focusing on the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law.
Right now I am studying the priesthood in Leviticus. It is fascinating. I am struck with the reality that we, both men and women, are priests unto God who are to minister the word of truth and to serve God and by serving God we are to serve others. A priest was someone who served.
We no longer require a mediator (as Don said) because Jesus Christ is our mediator. A husband and wife are priests together each offering themselves up in sacrificial service. It is the water of the word that washes us; it is Christ’s blood that saves us. Husband should never assume the role that only Christ can play in our lives.
Corrie, you are exactly right. And isn’t it a wonderful, mysterious,humbling thought?
I love this verse:
“But you are a chosen
people, a royal priesthood,
a holy nation,
a people belonging to God,
that you may declare the
praises of Him who called
you out of darkness into
His wonderful light.”
1 Peter 2:9
Hi, Karen! I just finished listening to both of your podcasts with Don, and they are excellent! I am looking forward to listening to Spunky’s sometime later today or tomorrow.
One point stood out to me today, and it was from part one — that there probably is a motivation to pull our children away from culture in extreme measures (ie-beyond just avoiding obvious sin and greed), and that motivation is we simply don’t trust in the sovereignty of God in the lives of our children. I was convicted about how often I fear that it is all up to me, and that God seems distant from my struggles as a parent. This is a lie. God is more concerned about the spiritual state of my children than I am, and He is a good God who hears prayer. This was a very freeing thought. And this part two podcast was just as good! Thanks for this labor of love!
Hi Lynn,
I am glad you were able to listen to those podcasts. Isn’t Don amazing? I so appreciate his perspective and how to-the-point he is.
And you are correct, much of the parenting within the patrocentric groups is fear based and undercuts our very faith in God’s sovereignty!