thatmom.com

We woke up one day last week to the first snowfall of the season, gentle white flakes touching down, slowly covering the muddy front lawn. It continued all day, the wind picking up, forming small drifts here and there.  I was happy for the snow as it made it a little more bearable to take down my Christmas tree and tuck away the family traditions along with it for another year.

White and pristine was my world, reminding me of the Lord’s promise that He will make our scarlet sins as white as snow. He is the great Purifier, the Cleanser of my Soul.  Such a comfort that is to me!

I have been thinking so much about the concept of purity in the past couple weeks, first as I have enjoyed the sweet innocence of a house full of little ones. They look at everything in wonder, their bright little eyes reflect their own worlds, yet untouched by those things that threaten to darken all of us. How do we protect our precious girls from those things? How do we protect our dear boys, our sons and grandsons? But more accurately, how do each of us, men, women, boys and girls, keep our hearts and minds pure in a world that ignores and even devalues the concept of purity? And how do we do this when modern evangelicalism tells us that it has to do primarily with sexuality and then spends so much time talking about it?

Recently reading excerpts from Mark Driscoll’s latest book along with seeing some of his teaching videos has left me feeling the need to retreat into a safe place and take a bubble bath for my very soul. I keep asking myself what has become of the evangelical church when it welcomes one man’s graphic sexual fantasies as “marriage counseling.” Or, what is wrong with the body of Christ when pastor and author Ed Young spends a weekend in bed with his wife on the roof of his church to promote sex? Apparently I am not alone as even Wade Burleson has weighed in on this one.  Purity, it seems, is a relative term and doesn’t apply to all people all the time.

But it isn’t only Pastor Young’s actions or Driscoll’s explicit language that bothers me about the latest public discussions about moral purity, Christians, and sexuality.  What really alarms me is that in so many places there are mixed messages about what purity actually is along with a double standard for purity that says it is somehow more important for girls to be pure than it is for boys. Oh, there is a hat tip to the rest of us, but most of the programs and so-called “ministries” seem to target young women and I am wondering why. And often it is measured by arbitrary ideals rather than the Lord’s standards.  Why, for example, is a woman’s outward appearance so central to the discussion?

After spending some time reading some of the current evangelical thought on women and purity, here are some of the messages I think are being sent and the links for you to read yourself. As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

Being a truly morally pure wife and mom probably isn’t sexy.

Back when Ted Haggard’s homosexual affairs became public, Driscoll suggested that this could be a temptation for other pastors since their wives often tend to let themselves go. He went on to share that he had had to straighten his own wife out on her wardrobe, ultimately telling her to stop “dressing like a mom.”  In his latest publication he goes on to share this story: ”My  pregnant wife came home from a hair appointment with her previously long hair that I loved chopped off and replaced with a short, mommish haircut. She asked what I thought. She could tell by the look on my face.  She had put a mom’s need for convenience before being a wife. She wept.”  Add this agenda to his assertion that young men who grow up in our “porn culture” have certain expectations regarding sexual practices, mix in a hearty dose of unbiblical gender roles, and one can only imagine the trips being placed on wives.

I’m sorry, but not only does Driscoll wear his own hair exactly like all my babies wore theirs, curled on top, but this is some of the most big baby behavior I have ever seen in a man. I am so sad that a “young, restless, and reformed” body of young men look to this man as a role model. And what message is this giving to young women? That looking “like a mom,” whatever that means, isn’t appealing to husbands? That women sin if they have their own preferences of style and taste? That the world is right and sex is only for young and attractive women, as defined by our post-Christian culture? Where is the sense of purity in this?

Compare this to the young husband and father I know who came through a particularly difficult time of labor and childbirth with his wife only to exclaim that he had never seen a more beautiful and lovely woman than his wife at that moment! That is the message those desiring to promote sexual purity need to be handing out!

A morally pure young woman must see herself as a princess who is outwardly beautiful and vulnerable.

A few years ago during one of my mom’s retreats, I had the women each decorate and wear crowns, not because I wanted them to envision themselves as some sort of helpless princess in need of rescue or a queen-of-everything mom who runs the show at home.  Rather, I hoped to convey that day, especially through our Bible study in 1 Peter, that we, as women, are part of a royal priesthood, women who have been given a calling of our own from the Lord, women who have been “ordained” before the foundations of the world to bring Him glory.

In contrast to this, many young Christian women are encouraged to see themselves as princesses, emphasizing outward beauty, passivity, and the need to always be under a man’s protection.  Of course, women ARE children of their heavenly father who is the King of Kings, but nowhere does Scripture admonish us to be princesses.  In fact, all believers are called to grow up in the fullness of our salvation, (1 Peter 2:2) becoming mature Christians.

I so appreciated reading author Laura Robinson’s thoughts on this subject and believe she has summed it up so well after being exposed to John and Stasi Eldridge’s nonsense:  “I am not a princess….It’s not bad news. It’s great news, actually. God has called me, has called all of us, not to a life of childlike sentimentality but to concrete hope and service in Him through discipleship.”

Doesn’t this make you think of Amy Carmichael and Gladys Alward? These women are among the greatest examples of godly womanhood in modern church history and yet they saw themselves as part of a royal priesthood, as the Lord’s servants who thought not of themselves but of others, to the glory of His Heavenly Kingdom. They enjoyed purity because their lives were focused on Jesus and others rather than themselves.

Moral purity is all about a young, single girl’s virginity and its oversight by her father.

A couple weeks ago I watched a documentary on Randy Wilson’s purity balls, which also was recently featured on a major television news program. Purity balls are a black tie dinner and dance for fathers and daughters to attend together where the emphasis is on exacting a commitment from daughters to their fathers that they will remain virgins until marriage. Also central to Wilson’s ministry is a father’s committing to protecting a daughter’s virginity and signing a pledge to become a “High Priest” of the home, both of these principles being played out in a variety of troubling ways. One young woman summed up the idolatry in her experience by saying “I realized what a privilege it was to be able to spend a night with my dad as he imparted glory and purity into my life.”

Wilson’s wife, Lisa, says that they wanted to create an event with “elegance, romance and extravagance, all the things girls find attractive” in a way that would “touch the intrinsic soul of a daughter” and leave her saying “I am beautiful and worthy of being pursued.”  This is to be stressed and enforced by the father and a girl is to learn that her sexuality never belongs to her but rather first to a father and then to a husband.  Organizers of this even state that “such an impregnable wall of fathers is what is necessary to see a movement grow that changes the course of our nation’s s history.” Note to self: more dominion theology rhetoric. It is the Gospel of grace alone that changes peoples’ hearts and lives.

I have known really lovely and intelligent girls who have participated in purity ball ministries but I’m certain it wasn’t at all like the stunning display shown here.  (Be sure to watch all 4 episodes for the whole message, otherwise you will miss many of the more dangerous nuances.)

Even more interesting than this piece was a master’s thesis on the purity movement by Holly Adams Phillips entitled To Cover Our Daughters: A Modern Chastity Ritual in Evangelical America. While I don’t necessarily agree with all of her conclusions, I found some of the research she did into the ramifications of these teachings to be fascinating. Her insights into child development and autonomy, for example, I believe, are worthy of consideration. She also demonstrates how some of the very means of protecting young women are, in fact, making them more vulnerable.

Phillips concludes by saying “The Purity Ball’s overt agenda, purity, is supposed to be addressing, according to the fathers, the increased sexualization of America’s daughters in a way that defies popular culture.  However, are not the labels of virgin or pure just as much sexual labels as “slut or whore.”  I would like to argue that the characterizations of a young girl’s status as sexually active or not are in both cases is sexualization of a girl.”  Indeed, Stacy McDonald chose Raising Maidens of Virtue as her book title because it sounded more appropriate than labeling daughters “young virgins,”yet is still conveys the same emphasis, that of a daughter’s value being entwined with her sexuality.

I believe this is truly at the core of the current discussion on sexuality in evangelicalism: in seeking to promote sexual purity, whether through endless discussions of modesty in dress or in defining their roles ad nauseum, women and girls are, in fact, sexualized and, in the process, demeaned. Under the guise of “purity” the messages are mixed and confusing.

In reality, true moral purity comes from a life focused on Jesus Christ and serving others. Why don’t we hear this? Probably because it isn’t sexy enough.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”~ Galatians 5:13-23

 “I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”   ~  Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  ~  Isaiah 41:10

When Clay was in the army, part of his airborne training involved a tour of the “rigger shack,” the building where all of the parachutes were packed prior to a jump. The large room was filled with long tables that could hold one chute at a time, the lines and chords stretched out so they could be examined before and after each use.  A specially trained “rigger” looked for tears and repaired them and removed sticks, leaves, and other debris left over from the previous jump. He straightened the chords, untangling each one, adjusting and readjusting until they were precise. He then meticulously repacked each chute, smoothing out each wrinkle, adjusting each line, accordion-folding each one. Not only were the lives of each of the troops on that base at stake but his own was as well, since all riggers must also be airborne qualified. Perfection, it seemed, was required for a flawless jump.

The whole procedure was quite impressive, until the last step.  Eyeing the carefully arranged chute, the rigger reached down and ruffled the fabric, leaving several random wrinkles, and then he finished his folding and packed the chute into its back pack. In response to the surprised expressions of his audience, he explained that there needed to be some pocket of the fabric that would catch the wind as the troops exited the airplane. If that wrinkle was not there, he warned, they could experience what is called a “cigarette roll,” where the chute cannot catch the wind to open, causing it to stream down behind the jumper, resulting in emergency measures and sometimes death.

To be sure, God requires perfection. His command to us is “Be ye perfect for I am perfect.”  But apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ who IS our righteousness, we cannot be perfect. In fact, all our righteousness (good works), we are told, are like filthy rags. We have absolutely nothing to offer God; any goodness in us is solely and wholly a gift from His perfect and righteous hand, His righteousness in and through and over us.

I think God is very much like that rigger.  His idea of perfection involves placing wrinkles in our path, marring what we perceive to be our own flawlessness so that His work alone will bring success!  Think about that today as you prepare for your next “jump.” Welcome the wrinkles, knowing they are the Lord’s means for raising you up to new heights and bringing you to a safe landing, for His glory!

It’s already January 6 and so far it has been a wonderful  year, having spent most of it with most of our children and half of our grandchildren! I am trying to get organized and my own goals for the coming year include lots more reading and writing.  Here are some links to share and I would love to hear what is on your reading list for 2012, too!

The Containerization of Our Children…lots of food for thought in this article.

And here is another article that discusses the importance of play for children.

Here is a sweet idea for your garden or yard and a lovely way to keep track of how quickly your children are growing!

Looking for cooking inspiration?  Look no further than this series of articles on creative ways to use your crock pots!

Mark Driscoll and his wife have written a new book on marriage that is being discussed from one end of the internet to the other. Since I do not intend to read this book myself, here are some insightful thoughts by Rachel Evans.  You also might appreciate the thoughts of the friendly atheist blogger who seems to get it better than many Christians who are endorsing this book!

I really appreciated this poignant story, especially in light of the fact that I received a copy of my original birth certificate during the holidays and,  to my disappointment, my birthmother’s name was missing from it.

I so love reading Wade Burleson and appreciate his thoughtful perspective on women and ministry.

When our kids were here during the holidays, it was fun to hear them talk about books they were reading and their goals for their reading lists in the coming year.  It inspired me to read more intentionally in 2012 so I have started a list and am stacking these on my end table in the library. Some of them are books I have read in bits in pieces already but plan to read straight through, taking notes. There are even a couple pieces of fiction, which is unusual for me!   What is on your list for the coming year? Why? I would love to hear about it!

Slaves, Women & Homosexuals: Exploring the Hermeneutics of Cultural Analysis

Moonwalking with Einstein:  The Art and Science of Remembering Everything

Influence:  The Art of Persuasion

Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes

Junia: The First Woman Apostle

The Hermaneutical Spiral: A Comprehensive Introduction to Biblical Interpretation

Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

The Help

Things As They Are (Amy Carmichael)

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

The Underground History of American Education

Dozens and dozens of cookies are now stashed away awaiting the children and grandchildren. Sure, there are other goodies as well but the cookies, well, the cookies take the cake!

In the nearly 50 years I have been baking, I had yet to come up with the definitive chocolate chip cookie….until this year! Oh, I had brushed up against cookie greatest in years past and once one of my sons had a friend who made the perfect cookie but absolutely refused to share his recipe! Well, this year is the year of Cookie Perfection and I am more than happy to share this recipe with you!

The Definitive Chocolate Chip Cookie ~ Makes 4 -5 dozen but you might as well double it now!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare cookie sheets by lining with parchment paper.

1 cup softened butter
1 cup white sugar
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda dissolved in 1 TBS. hot water
1 tsp. vanilla
3 ¼ level cups all purpose flour
2 cups chocolate chips or combination of chocolate, butterscotch, white, or Heath bits. We made one batch with Andes Mints chips. Yum!
1 cup chopped nuts

Cream butter and sugars well. Add eggs, vanilla, and soda water. Add in flour and mix well. Add chips and nuts. Scoop up 1 TBS. dough and roll into a ball. Place on parchment lined cookie sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 5 minutes, switch racks in oven if baking two sheets at a time. Bake 3 to 4 minutes more, watching very carefully. Remove from oven when not completely done. Allow to sit on cookie sheet for 5 minutes (very important) then place on wire rack and allow to cool completely. Freeze well.

Chocolate Surprise Cookies ~ makes 4 dozen cookies

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

For cookies:

3 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups cocoa powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups softened butter
2 large eggs
1 cup milk
2 tsp. vanilla
24 large marshmallows, cut in half horizontally

For frosting:

4 cups powdered sugar
½ cup melted and cooled butter
½ cup milk or cream
1 tsp. vanilla

Cream butter with eggs, stir in vanilla, and add dry ingredients and milk, alternately. Scoop up 1 TBS. dough and roll into a ball, placing a dozen on each cookie sheet. Bake 5 minutes and switch on racks in oven if baking 2 pans at a time. Bake another 4 minutes. Remove from oven and place one marshmallow half in center of each cookie, pushing down a bit. Return to oven for 1 more minute, remove and allow to sit on cookie sheet for 5 minutes. Remove to rack and cool completely. When cold (I placed mine in the fridge for a bit to be sure they were completely cooled inside) frost with frosting, covering marshmallow completely to achieve surprise affect when biting into this deliciousness!

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” ~ Matthew 7:11

(originally posted here in December 2010, but I needed the reminder again!)

I love this time of year and still enjoy the magic of the season, the wonder that comes with each snowstorm, the cozy feeling of a house gift-wrapped in holly and ivy. I have already watched White Christmas, Holiday Inn, The Christmas Card, and Elf…..so many great Christmas movies, so little time!!!!! Nothing says cozy like a cup of hot chocolate and someone special to annoy as you quote all the lines from a familiar family favorite while wrapping packages!

Last weekend, Clay and I braved Toys R Us, a store we hadn’t been in for several years. Since we had already done most of our shopping online, we only had a few things to find and thought it might be fun to reminisce a bit about the days of our own toddlers and babies. Unfortunately, there were far too many frazzled and impatient parents struggling through the aisles so we quickly grabbed our two purchases and headed home. That experience on the heels of having spent Thanksgiving vacation with all 10 of our grandchildren put me to thinking about Christmas gifts and what I believe children really want under their own Christmas trees! Here is my list…

Someone who will listen to them ~ I am always up at the crack of dawn and disgustingly cheerful at that time, too. My favorite part about having little ones visit us is the early morning cuddle and chat time I get to enjoy every day. I love hearing them come down the stairs in their jammied feet and I love listening to their stories. They are always so ready and eager to tell me about their lives and interests and all they really want is an audience. I sometimes wonder how many really and truly great ideas for mankind could be captured simply by listening to children talk.

Kindness and willingness to partake in their childhood sorrows and joys ~ As we get older, we tend to think of grief only in terms of the big things…the death of a loved one, a job loss, broken relationships. But children have real and true sorrows that are devastating to their own little hearts ….. a broken toy, a missed turn, not finding mom close by when waking from a nap, a harsh word spoken in haste, or even a disapproving glance their direction. Scripture admonishes us to be kind to one another, literally to succor or to come alongside or to help, to uplift and to be gentle and tenderhearted while doing so. I believe kindness also manifests itself in taking delight in things that our children find delightful, not dismissing their interests. I must admit that I have a hard time finding the joy of Spongebob or the Three Stooges but knowing how much joy it brings to those I love inspires me!

Simple things ~ Madison Avenue, especially through television advertising, has done a great job of programming parents into thinking that they must purchase every new and whiz bang toy that comes along. The fact is, children love things that are simple, especially if it gives them room to imagine and create themselves. We have often joked that homeschooled children are so easily entertained and it is true. Give them scrap wood, old cardboard boxes, and simple tools and they are happy and busy for hours. While the children were all here, one of our sons went into our basement and, in true Tony Stark fashion, made individual weapons for each of the older ones using parts from old vacuum cleaners, flash lights, etc., and held together with duct tape. Each gun was unique and the kids spent hours and hours racing through the house and yard, their imaginations running wild. Who needs to spend hundreds of dollars on toys that will soon pile up and eventually become the bane of mom’s existence before they are trotted off to Goodwill?

A slower pace so they can soak in the wonder of little things ~ Not long ago, some of the older members of our Toastmaster’s club were lamenting the fact that we had had so many members just a few years ago and now our group is small. They couldn’t understand why there were so few younger people in recent years who are interested in improving their communication skills. I don’t think it has a thing to do with an interest in this group or any other group; I believe it is because families are so busy taking children from one activity to another that schedules are just too full. I also believe that homeschoolers are sometimes prone to this temptation more than others because they don’t want their children to miss out on anything they might have gotten from formal education. How often does a child ask a question that could open up all sorts of other discussion but we have to say “Ask me later, we don’t have time right now; we have to get to soccer practice or puppet club?” The true beauty of parenting is that teaching and learning come in those often quiet, serendipitous moments that happen when we slow down. Children want us to give them “soaking time,” time to examine, ask questions, and think about all sorts of things. And they want us to soak on those things, too.

Someone who knows that living outside the box is sometimes the best idea ~ Yes, we must be good, law-abiding citizens and yes, God’s Word is to be obeyed. Those are true. But sometimes it is the best choice to color outside the lines. While my eight ear old grandson, Henry, was here, I had promised him that I would bake a Texas cake. As I described to him what it was, his eyes grew bigger and bigger and I actually could see his mouth water! But, as the days went by and life was so, so hectic with 21 people in the house, the cake hadn’t made it into the oven. He was too polite to harass me, but the night before he was to leave the next morning, I woke up several times remembering that I hadn’t made that cake and I felt terrible. So at 4:00 am I got up and baked a Texas cake for breakfast, its deliciousness still warm with fudge frosting when he woke up. As the children came down, one by one, they were pleased, though probably not entirely shocked, to find Grandma serving chocolate cake for breakfast! I highly recommend this for everyone from time to time, especially for those who are bound up in any sort of legalism, spiritual or otherwise. It’s amazing how liberating a piece of Texas cake can be!

Freedom and encouragement to explore and create ~ This really goes along with the idea of slowing down and living more simply and it can be lovingly encouraged just by what we provide for them. My daughter has an amazing way of bringing out the best of a child’s creativity simply by keeping an always-changing costume box. She watches for any sort of prop and Christmas always means adding to the ever-growing collection. She is also much better than I ever was at tolerating and encouraging mess making….one of the things I would do over if I could.

Being loved for who they are rather than for what we think they should be ~ I believe one of our important roles as parents is to help inspire our children and to give them a vision for using their gifts and talents in service to the Lord. At the same time, we must fight the temptation to try to force them into some ideal model that we envision based on our own desires or preferences. We need to pattern our own parenting after God’s parenting of us, loving our children simply for the preciousness of their souls, through tendermercies demonstrated toward them by grace alone.

Knowing that they can depend on Mom and Dad anytime, anywhere ~ Children need to know that their parents are their biggest fans. A while back I read an absolutely inane article that said it is a sin for children to desire the approval of their parents, even citing what the author believed to be a bad example where a child had experienced emotional pain from years of having her thoughts and abilities minimized and dismissed. In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the servants and their talents. The servant who was faithful with what the Lord had given to him was given even more and “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Is not this the response that all children desire to hear from their own parents as well? If this were a sin, wouldn’t Jesus have taken this opportunity to instruct us so? Our children need to hear how much they are valued, treasured, and delighted in by their parents!

Knowing that we expect the best of them, even if what they do doesn’t look like the way we might do things ~ One thing I have really enjoyed about having children who are grown and married is observing how each couple becomes one and together make up one family. They have their own family favorite foods and their own family traditions. They have convictions and goals and use their amazing talents and abilities in unique ways. Sometimes I am amazed at how much like Clay or me they might seem. Other times I am equally amazed at how differently they look at life. I once knew a woman who repeatedly said to her daughter “You’re not like me at all,” sending the message that to be acceptable within their family, the daughter was expected to be a carbon copy of the mom. What a tragedy for a daughter who spent years struggling needlessly with self-acceptance issues and how much that mother missed by not enjoying the unique ways God was working in her family!

Someone who is honest and genuine, someone who is willing to be vulnerable and transparent, someone who is consistent in living out her faith and is willing to admit wrongdoing and seek forgiveness when she fails ~ I teach communications skills to a group of homeschoolers and right now we are working through the principles of storytelling. From the corporate board rooms to family dining tables, telling your own story is a powerful way to communicate God’s working in your life. But the value of our stories diminishes if we are not willing to share the truth of mistakes we have made or if we embellish them for our own glory. Years ago, I heard the story of a man I knew who had competed in a Toastmaster’s Humorous Speaking competition. The most important rule of this event is the one that requires all participants to present their own original stories and it comes with the warning that plagiarism will be punished. This man won first place through all the levels of contests and finally made it to the top, winning the grand prize with his hilarious telling of a personal story. He went home with a huge trophy and displayed it on a shelf in his family room, but only for a few weeks. It seems that this man had taken found this amusing tale online and decided to make it his own story. Imagine his chagrin at receiving the phone call asking to arrange a time for his trophy to be returned. And can you even imagine the horror of facing your friends and family after such an experience? Children want parents who are willing to share stories of their own lives, the good and the bad, the joyous and the painful. They want parents with integrity who are willing to become vulnerable and, most importantly, they want parents whose stories include repentance and seeking forgiveness when they have wronged others, especially their children.

These sorts of Christmas gifts will not break your holiday budget but they will cost you something….everything, as you purpose to one another your children by God’s grace and for the glory of the Newborn King Jesus whose gift of eternal life is the reason we celebrate Christmas!

* Note: There is a place for storytelling that involves interpretations of the stories of others or making up your own stories, both of which I encourage with my class. But we must be honest about what we are presenting and differentiate when appropriate!

Me on Christmas, circa 1957!

Everyone has some in their family or among their co-workers who still wonders why anyone who is sane would chose to homeschool, after all, we have great schools that help our kids fit into the real world, right?  Here is an article you need to read and share with the skeptics.  I chronicled my own experience with just this sort of thing but, sadly, to many parents this isn’t this big of a deal. Why?

Sally Clarkson is speaking my own heart in a recent blog entry. I think we need to continue to talk about the importance of one anothering in all our family relationships and what this means! Go Sally!

Wade Burleson is blogging again and has written this amazing article on the changes he believes are occurring and need to happen for churches to be healthy today. Those who are interested in the family integrated church movement will be amazed at how his insights parallel with many of our concerns and I especially appreciate his emphasis on the ramifications for ignoring the new covenant. Clay and I have discussed this article every day since we read it….don’t skip this one!

We are in the throes of Christmas planning and are preparing for at least some of the gang who will be here. Lots of fun in the works including making more model rockets with more grandchildren with a big launch  planned for New Year’s Day. Will and Clay have been working on a 7 foot tall model rocket…think we need to call the airport before we send it into space? And Joe and Clayton have another “family game” in the works, which reminded us we need to pull out Mollie’s infamous “Dadopoly” from a few years ago. We have been enjoying Christmas movies while I crochet vintage 1970’s ponchos for the little girls and stitching names on stockings for the latest grandbabies.

I have lots of fun Christmas treats I am working on , too,  and will share recipes as they come out of the oven. Here is a favorite from last year we will be making again by the gallon:

Santa’s Christmas Eve Snack Mix for the Long Ride Home

3 cups mini pretzels

1 cup dry roasted peanuts

2 cups Rice Chex

2 cups Caramel Bugles

8 oz. white chocolate bark

2 cups red and green M & M’s

In large bowl (we use a stock pot for multiple batches), mix first four ingredients. Melt bark and pour over mixture until all is covered.  Spread out on a cookie sheet lined with wax or parchment paper and allow to cool.  Break apart and place in clean bowl, tossing in M & M’s with it.  Store in airtight containers. (I just found lots of cute tins at Hobby Lobby on sale and will put the mix in plastic bags and then transfer to the tins for gift giving. WARNING: the Caramel Bugles are addictive, I am serious.

I am asking for prayer for my dear friend, Corrie Marnett, this morning. Her husband died of a massive heart attack last night. They have 10 children and many of you might remember Corrie from one of the podcast series we did together as well as her presentation at the Treasures retreat.

One of the messages I hope to send through this blog is that Christian moms who homeschool their children come in all shapes and sizes and have a wide variety of interests, needs and circumstances. Attempting to push us all into one box with one agenda is fruitless; it is like trying to herd cats!  I also believe one of our greatest temptations as homeschooling moms is to focus on the temporal rather than what is eternal. And worst yet, the church often thinks that that is what we want and need as women!  Indeed, Lynnea’s comments yesterday are a heartbreaking testimony to the often found reality of church life in conservative churches! Dear sisters,this ought not to be!!! So, here are some good thoughts for you today!!

One of my FB friends shared the link to this article on the dummying down of women’s ministry and it is so timely in light of Lynnea’s words.  Please check it out.

And along with this great piece, I came across this enlightening research essay on the demographics of women in America today.  I couldn’t help but think about how totally missing the mark family integrated churches are in light of this information!

And speaking of demographics, there is new Barna research out that shows that teens are not as apt to be leaving the faith as they are to be leaving the organized church.  A further discussion of this topic can be found in David Kinnamon’s latest book as well.

Finally, I was also intrigued by this article written by Kirk Wessler at the Peoria Journal Star. In discussing Penn State and the “moral bankruptcy” of Joe Paterno, Wesslerhas this to say: “We are appalled. But as the shock wears off, we should not be surprised. Three factors loom large in the Penn State story. They are present throughout society, but they run at especially high intensity in sports. The corrupting nature of power. The culture of the closed group. Our instinct for self-preservation.”  He goes on to warn us that we all can easily fall prey to turning a blind eye!  I couldn’t help but think of those people who are quick to rush in and rail against those of us who would be critical of Michael Pearl or any other Christian or homeschool “leader” who perpetrates abuse: physical, emotional, spiritual, or sometimes even sexual. (Anyone else following the Chuck Phelps/Tina Anderson controversy?) “Internet gossips and slanderers” we care called!  “Shrill and lacking in femininity and modesty,” we are told.  Please read what Kirk has to say and think about this!

Today, as I spend much of my day baking pies, chopping vegetables, and preparing a turkey for tomorrow’s feast, I will be thinking about all those blessings the Lord has so graciously given to me….love of family, the truth of His Word, the precious gift of salvation!  I will also be thanking Him for you dear friends.  It is such a blessing to me to “know” you all and share this wonderful pilgrimage together as brothers and sisters in Christ! 

Have a blessed, blessed Thanksgiving Day!